some postings which I created on facebook 19th february 2015 - 16th march 2015
filed under mix

stories mix posted on facebook:


there are veeeery serious rumors that this weekend could be the last weekend that the LEEEEEEGENDARY BLUE BOY BAR is open.

for that reason I plan to go with eeeeveryone after the Open Studio this saturday (means: around 10 p.m.) to BlueBoyBar

pls come here and let´s say *GoodBye* *sniff* *sniff*

20th feb: I was always wondering about the price of Chanel Haute Couture Outfit: now I know it: between 30 000 and 100 000 euros ^^ ... yes, ONE outfit ... each*


20th feb: dear diary, *what is love?*

it´s like a movie watching the scenes happening in front of the hot-sheet hotel on the other side of the street of my flat. she was about 60 years old, in a good mood, smoking cigarettes, colorful sexy dressed with a short purple skirt, high heels and a jacket with fake fur. while she was waiting, she did some busy telephone calls ... I just heard her saying "I am standing in front of Stockholmer and wait for a guest".
I was wondering for whom she was waiting for! a big truck driver? a young boy? a chubby?
about 20 minutes later a well dressed man came ... about 70 years old with white hair and white beard. he smiled very lucky when he saw her and she smiled at least as much as he did. they hugged eachother in warming way. it is hard to say if they knew eachother already or if they met eachother the first time. but obviously they needed eachother: he showed her that she is still beautiful and worth paying for ... and she showed him, that a woman ... similar age as him ... with some experience ... knows what he really needs sometimes. I guess: they loved eachother <3

20th feb: my dad is the same: I was always afraid telling him that I am gay. he´s a kind of a macho grown up in a small village. when I became HIV+, then my mom told it to him. his reaction was: "I am able to understand the gay thing, but why didn´t he use condoms, when they do that much promotion for it." ... since that time my father helps me again walking through my life

22nd feb: it was the first time since more than 2 years, that I did a break for about 1 month. I would say: that break was absolutly necessary to handle and order the impressions of the past 2 years of creating paintings. today I started again ... and it felt as if I needed to start from zero ... with some new backgrounds ... those 3 white ones are not just white. they have a little touch of yellow in it smile emoticon ... and: I am not sick anymore. I work with open window and it is still cold ... especially in the morning* it was good today to feel again brushes, paint tubes, canvases ... and smell the terpentine in the air. I feel stornger and more wise* I AM BACK! =D

22nd feb: +++ BERGHAIN +++

Studio 54 and The Tunnel in New York grin emoticon
Le Queen in Paris heart emoticon
Leigh Bowery´s Taboo in London kiss emoticon
Pacha in Ibiza grin emoticon
and and and
and Berghain in Berlin frown emoticon

no question about: Berghain belongs to the big names in club history of the past decades. but what makes it different: Berghain started as dirty sexclub and ended up as club with one of the best soundsystems in the world ... *DAMN* THOSE BOXES.
it was never necessary for the Berghain to point with LOVE (I am talking about deepest love from the bottom of the heart!), FUN (I am talking about real fun which comes from the deepest bottom of the heart too!), GLAMOUR (I am talking about *WOW* glamour which let´s everyone speechless!).

perhaps it was the time which requested for a club such as Berghain ...

one discussion with someone about the club reflected my feelings about the Berghain in one sentence, when I said: "how many people died in the past 10 years in the club Berghain!? was it really 7 people?" ... and the cold answer of the other person was: "so what? people have to die somewhere! and 7 is not a lot for a big club as Berghain!"
it was the coldness in the answer which shocked me ... and it made it clear to me: no heart ... no feelings ... no love ...... wanted at Berghain!

Berghain will NEVER be in one row with you:
Studio54 grin emoticon , TheTunnel kiss emoticon , LeQueen heart emoticon , Taboo kiss emoticon , Pacha grin emoticon ,...

22nd feb: +++ DEAD PEOPLE AT BERGHAIN ? +++

OH, with my latest fb posting: did I write something which is kind of a taboo to talk about it in Berlin!?
PEOPLE DIED AT BERGHAIN ? rumors say 7 people in the past 10 years ? ... nothing to talk about it ? Berghain´s philosphy: what happens in Berghain stays in Berghain ?

are those perhaps 7 ? people not worth it to talk about them anymore ? is it just about dancing ?

I am not saying that Berghain is ´responsible´ for that, that people die there. BUT they are responsible for the reaction about it ... after someone´s death. here an example: ONE guy died at a Rolling Stones concert some decades ago and the whole band still suffers about that ... TILL TODAY!
<= this is what I am talking about!

it is just WRONG when dead people are calculated in the concept of a party and more: just seen as number and ignored.

my opinion since years: Berghain is just wrong! in many many ways!

23rd feb: dear diary, I did it: after being sober since about 7 months I drank tonite 4 beers and smoked some cigarettes. why? after ICKYparty I went to BlueBoyBar ... for the last time before they close their doors. this wasn´t just a bar ... they have been my neighbours for the past 10 years ... it was the place where I found peace whenever I needed it: those old men who gave wisdom to me ... those young streethustlers who made me smile. it´s an own world ... the red light.
yes, I am little bit sad about it ... an era ends.
Thank You to Hans and his team heart emoticon I love you heart emoticon

... and now I continue being sober again*

23rd feb: FLOWERS 4 U heart emoticon this spring I have 2 awesome beautiful plants for you: it´s only about every 5 years that I have them to give away: my grandma cultivated them already and I continued: they are hard to get, they grow slow and get blossom up to 20 centimeters big. the only thing you need is: at your home: a flowerpot with flower soil inside. then we cut here the plant and you can easily take them home ... even with the underground. the cut of the plants will be at beginning of spring: so pls think already about it if you want one of those*

24th feb: pls how should I use a website named www. soccer2022 . com ? ... soccer world championship will be there ... in QATAR. ... human rights ? ... female rights ? ... queer rights ?

some years ago I bought some website names, such as soccer2022 . com . that was before QATAR was checked out for that. I was just happy to do a funny soccer page during the world championship <= that was the plan!
BUT now with QATAR *AAAAARRRRGGHHHSSSS* this is faaaaar away from fun!

I think it is necessary to use that website with some useful content. and now what?

any ideas someone?

25th feb: I loved those people heart emoticon who teached life to me at school* I lived there the whole week (at age 14 - 19 years). we shared our lives together. I am sad about the loss of Mrs. Hatzl frown emoticon R.I.P.

25th feb: okokok it´s the first time that I really listen to MICHAEL BUBLE and watch a concert^^ THAT GUY IS STUNNING AWESOME ^^ ... and even he knows talking on stage grin emoticon just FIERCE *

2nd march: 2nd march 2015: a good day to paint ^^* my everyday´s outfit while painting in winter with open windows: headband, scarf, t-shirt, sweatpants, socks AND bathrobe ... ^^ Fashion kiss emoticon ^^

2nd march: already as teenager I was phascinated by those guys in bodybuilder magazines ... and that phascination still exists ...

3rd march: ja, garnicht so schlecht ... diese Gymnastikvideos für zu Hause smile emoticon jaaaaa, jetzt mit 41 Jahren geht es los mit den körperlichen *äääHmmm* ALTERSERSCHEINUNGEN *

4th march: *** IDENTIFICATION ***

artists create books, movies, paintings,... which give the society the possibilty to identify itself ... with a place, a city, a country,... and/or social groups ...

the work of artists is therefore enormous important to bind people into a society ...

politicans and people in power know about that strong ´tool´. I appreciate it a lot, that I may life on a place on that planet, where it is possible to work free with my creativity. but sometimes I wish that there would exist more support ... especially in Germany ...

´art doesn´t count that much´ <= that´s the thinking in Germany ... and that thinking has to change ...


5th march: 5th day ... non-stop painting ... that´s my NEW RECORD grin emoticon ... to get the energy to paint, means to train it ... similar as marathon runners and bodybuilder do it. I started about 2 years ago with one time 2 hours per week! ... and now I paint about 2 hours ... almost every day^^ I need to train to be able to paint longer: 3 and 4 and 5 hours are my next goals ...

6th march: ^^ I know and follow (on fb) each of those 5 soccer stars ^^ ... 20 years ago: it was the time of the supermodels ... and today it is the moment of the SOCCER PLAYERS ... aaaaaand THEY LOOK STUNNING AWESOME GREAT ^^ (REAL MADRID)

6th march: heart emoticon Brian heart emoticon

Brian was a wild & free guy ...
that caused many times that he had some kind of ´accidents´ ...
once with his bike, when he didn´t see a chain between two poles ...
and after he came directly to my flat ... blood on his body everywhere ... when I opened the door ... the first thing I did: I hugged him without asking any questions

when he had some fights during a night with some guys ... then after ... in the morning he came to my flat just to find some peace and sleep ... but when he climbed over the balcony ... the first thing I did: I hugged him without asking any questions

when there has been a ´difficult´ night at his PORKparty and he felt annoyed or whatever ... I knew the expression in his face ... and when he came to me, while I was sitting at the door ... the first thing I did: I hugged him without asking any questions

tonight ... in my dreams ... we did a journey in a country far, far away ... we took the train ... Brian was busy with all those people everywhere ... somehow I lost him in a big hall crowded with people ... after a while I saw him how he came in my direction ... he had blood in his face and a tooth has been missing ... the first thing I did: I hugged him without asking any questions

7th march: it is bad if something looks bad, but tastes good (as it happened with a cake some weeks ago), BUT THE WOOORST is when something looks goood and tastes TEEEERRRRIBILE *AAARRGGGHHHSSSSS* ... till yesterday I had no idea that there exist gelatine powder ... I used the regular gelatine and now there are eeeeeverywhere pieces of gelatine in the cake ... and when you eat it now, then you have always the feeling, that you bite on little pieces of car tire :((((

8th march: heart emoticon Happy International Women´s Day heart emoticon I LOOOOVE WOMEN heart emoticon be who you are heart emoticon do what you want heart emoticon wear what makes you feel good heart emoticon FREEDOM TO ALL WOMEN ON THIS PLANET <3

8th march: heart emoticon spring heart emoticon

when I was 20 then I was excited about meeting NEW MEN

two decades later:

today I am excited to create NEW PAINTINGS

... life changes ... and priorities too

... I am horny ... I need to paint NOOOOOW ... tongue emoticon

heart emoticon spring <3

8th march: dear diary, sometimes I talk with my friend from Mosul/Iraq about what is going on there. I am not talking with him each time about Iraq, because I don´t want to hurt him too much. but today I was interessted about his opinion about the destruction of thousands of years old art in Iraq. He is shocked a lot about that and couldn´t find any words for that act of violence. ... later he told me again new stories, such as: when the cloths of his little niece have been to short, then they brought her and her father to police station ... they all cried there. he said to me "she is just a little girl. she will never forget all that ... lifelong!" ... then he told me about those two young men who smoked cigarettes in the garden of their house. ISIS realized it and brought them to prison for 9 days ... they beat them up there and did all the torture possible.
I asked my friend "but in their own house ... that´s private!"
he answered "PRIVACY!? there doesn´t exist privacy in Mosul."

dear diary, it´s always different if you read stories in newspapers, watch it in television or if someone tells it to you while you look in his sad eyes and listen to the sound of his dramatic voice

9th march: dear Mr. Richter, you said: "you never buy art" ... but you should: to buy art is the most effectiv way to support other artists

... I think, that I have to talk with Isa about that! grin emoticon

and YES! Isa buys art of other artists*

9th march: thoughts: ^^ the abstinence of art ^^

I was wondering about where my interest for art comes from. my parents never talked about art ... almost never. my mom worked as tailor. I remember when I was a little child, when we lived in a small village in the forrest ... then once my mom said "sometimes I would wish to work for a haute couture designer ... in Paris ...". while she said that, I realized that there has to exist moooore outside of that little village we lived in.

at school we almost never got teached into art. the teachers almost never talked with us about art and especially modern art. I had no idea that something like ´modern art´ even exists. sometimes we made excursions and we visited churches. I was phascinated by that beauty inside ... sculptures and paintings everywhere (in the age of 11 we visited ´Stift Admont´ (pls check THAT out on google)).

but no one talked with me about art or teached something to me. it was the absolut abstinence of art which made me curious about it. I wanted to know mooooore.

in the age of 15 I did a trip (with train) to members of my family (which I have never seen before) in Barcelona. on the way I stopped in Paris and went there everyone was talking about: Louvre and Versailles Castle. there I realized what is possible to create for human beings ... it was phascinating and influenced my whole life.
In Barelona I heard the names Gaudi and Picasso for the first time in my life. I went to the Park Gaudi and the Picasso museum.
and I realized, that my great oncle was a ´streetpainter´ in Barcelona. he created paintings in oil on canvas while being on the streets of Barcelona. he gave one painting of the cathedral of Barcelona to me.
on the way back I stopped in Monaco and Venice.
THAT journey perhaps has been the most important journey of my life.

but it needed many more years till I found the way for me to become a painter. Berlin was and still is, the solution for making my dreams come true. Here I should get teached into Caravaggio, Vermeer, Richter, Salomé, ...

when someone would have asked me in the age of 8, which profession I would like to do when I am adult. I would have answered: Veterinarian

10th march: I love my paintings heart emoticon some of them (as the actual profile picture) are veeeery OCD grin emoticon ... it just looks wrong ... but guess what: THEY ARE RIGHT! OCD RIGHT! kiss emoticon ... did you ever look exactly at some paintings of RUBENS? ... they are OCD too heart emoticon OCD RULES THE WORLD grin emoticon ... just saying :*

10th march: okokok today I don´t have that much motivation to paint. those are the days when I paint at least some backgrounds. I mean: I have no time to waste ... about 150 000 photographies in my archive are waiting to be painted in oil on canvas ^^*

11th march: *** tuna steak in Spanish dill redwine sauce with roast potatoes *** tongue emoticon THAT WAS AWESOME tongue emoticon today I went to the fishmarket and bought some tuna steak ... I said to the saleswoman that I am hungry ... she cut a piece of that tuna steak and said 13.50 euro. I thought *DAMN* that wasn´t the plan! ... but I bought it and at home I prepared a myummmy redwine sauce and potatoes with it. ... it´s an almost 20 euro meal! *WOW* I wonder how much that would cost in a restaurant!? btw: to everyone who is asking how I can afford that? here is the simple answer: some years ago I brought my money in nightclubs ... and today I bring my money to food markets =P

12th march: I grew up with seeing my mom and dad and friends NAKED and there is nothing ´wrong´ about it!

13th march: *** rare fillet of beef with red wine onion sauce and baked potatoes with garlic cream *** ... to cook and bake became a serious kind of ´hobby´ to me tongue emoticon ... the fillet of beef: I love it bloody rare tongue emoticon ... sometimes I need to feed the tiger inside of me =P

13th march: thoughts: Walt Disney

when I was a child ... that was 30 years ago, when I was 11. at that time internet didn´t exist, and handys too. I did read Walt Disney ... as much as I could ... from the age 8 till 18. I almost didn´t read other books. Just Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse and sometimes Spiderman, Asterix and Obelix, Garfield, ...
already as teenager I was sure about it, that those Walt Disney Books and Magazines will have an influence for my whole life.

... and today when I look at my paintings in oil on canvas ... then I see a lot of comics there. such as: simple backgrounds (yellow, green, red,...), how one character dominates the whole painting, ... and everything clear, clean, ... and of course: colorful

I love my paintings that way heart emoticon ... and thank you Walt Disney for the influence :*

14th march: normally I should STOP buying CALIFORNIAN ALMONDS! California has almost no more drinking water reserves left ... and they use 10 % of their water to cultivate almonds *HHMMMPPFFFF* ... but for today I did bake an ´California Apple Chocolate Almond Cake´ ... and I am sure that it will taste *mmyummmy* with fresh whipped cream =P

15th march: sometimes it comes to my mind that Brian left that world on 5th june 2014 ... and sometimes I feel very confused about it

since more than 9 months I try understand it ... but I can´t



being sick 18th january - 18th february 2015

some days after my birthday I became sick :(

it lastet for longer than a month :(

including heavy cold, inner ear infection and stiff neck. everything not thaaat much dramatic but painful. I felt very bad and wasn´t able to paint. ... what was good on a way, because my studio is part of my flat and when it is very cold, then the windows are closed, which makes it dangerous when working on paintings, because of the Terpentine used for the colors.

means: I was sick and took everything to suffer as much as possible. sometimes it is good to take time and let the body and soul suffer ...

on the pic below: with homemade chicken soup
and on the pic above: me suffering*



my birthday 16th january 2015

my birthday I celebrated with a wonderful group of friends during the Open Studio*

on the pic you see the homemade Sacher style chocolate cake with white chocolate*

on the same day a group show (curated by Tommy Camerno) in Southampton in Southengland started in the HA HA Gallery. I was part of that groupshow with 2 of my paintings. it was a phantastic birthday present to me*



some postings which I created on facebook 20th january 2015 - 18th february 2015
filed under mix

stories mix posted on facebook:

20th jan: Patrick Bartsch: " I know that I am a significant german painter " (<= to say it that way is nothing special for significant painters smile emoticon )

those days it is the first time that I watched documentaries about the life and work of Monet, van Gogh, ... I knew NOTHING about them ... just the famous paintings everyone knows. I didn´t have art at school and I wasn´t at art university.
I got teached by painter friends and the internet.

here I present a lot of my (private & artistic) life, but it´s only the iceberg you all see. about 80 % of that iceberg are under water and almost for no one to see and experience. I am THAT ICEBERG and because I know every part of it, makes me say that I am a significant german painter and artist.
watching those documentaries of different painters made me even much more aware of it, that we signifiant painters are all made of the same kind of wood (<= that´s a german saying. I hope you understand those words in english too).

most important to me is, that I found a family in those painters ... a family I understand and share similar experiences.

22nd jan: being sick since some days ... too sick to leave the flat ... too sick to paint. being trapped in my bed is not the worst thing: it gives time to think about life. today I made some homemade chicken soup which one will make me healthy very fast ... for sure* and for the first time in my life: I am listening to audio books from youtube, which is very exciting on a way^^

26th jan: Paris? PARIS!

reasons why I should think about to move to Paris:

* I love that most beautiful city in the world* and the people there heart emoticon
* I lived there already for about 1 year (when I was 19 years young) and I speak french
* it is good for a painter to move
* for my international friends: it makes almost no difference if I live in Berlin or Paris
* someone told me: there exist cheap flats to find
* for me: it is easy to move: I just have some little things and only few suitcases

it just depends on: as long as I am poor, I stay in Berlin, because I am German and it is easier to be in the own country.
BUT as soon as the pages turn in my life and I have some money, then it is veeery possible that I will announce:

*** Good-Bye Berlin kiss emoticon HELLO PARIS heart emoticon ***

30th jan: ´Linzer Tart´ Patrick Bartsch style^^ I think my today´s cake looks veeeery similar as my paintings look like grin emoticon what happened?: I couldn´t wait to move the Linzer Tart from the hot baking plate to a cold cake plate ... that was a mistake! it broke into 1000 pieces ... this kind of cake needs to be moved when it´s cold^^ beginner´s mistake frown emoticon but the cake tastes deeeelicious =P

2nd feb: ^^ I AM PROCESS ^^ I am veeeery happy to announce that there will be PART III of the reading with glamouros George Keeling ... this saturday 7th february 9 p.m. at Patrick´s Open Studio* don´t miss it^^

2nd feb: NO NO NO I don´t want that! rumors say that the ´Blue Boy Bar´ will close in april. the most legendary hustla bar of Berlin and my neighbour bar will close their doors forever frown emoticon
the cut to a new Berlin goes very deep and hurts ... all those wonderful memories I had there in the past 10 years. it was legendary ... in every way.

Blue Boy Bar was part of my heart and I will miss it :(

3rd feb: dear diary: the lion inside of me awakes more and more.

now I am sober since about 6 months (no alc, no cigarettes, no dr*gs). I am very familiar with that feeling ... becoming sober. already some years ago (between 2003 and 2010) I have been sober. especially in the first two sober years you feel that enormous energy ... it´s like an wild animal which got prisoned and then you open the cage and let it free. that energy is almost unstoppable.

I write it as it is: I looooove dr*gs, alcohol and smoking cigarettes. and I know that it destroys my body ... and for that reason I am used to give breaks to my body. I mean I started with that sh*t in the age of 8.

those sober years are always veeeeery special ... it´s an enormous strong feeling. because in those years I realize many dreams which I created when I brought my body in ohter shapes.

and right now: I am thaaat much excited because in those past 4 years (between 2010 and 2014) while taking dr*gs, drinking alc and smoking cigarettes. ... I created more and more dreams to realize.

+++ ATTENTION +++ this story works for me! this is my life! and everybody is different! to every other person I just can say: DR*GS and ALCOHOL are no toys ... THEY CAN KILL! DON´T PLAY WITH IT!

6th feb: zu: +++ Papst Franziskus und das Schlagen von Kindern +++

Ich gehöre zu den Kindern welche von ihren Eltern nicht einmal geschlagen wurden. Nicht eine Ohrfeige von Mutter oder Vater. Absolut gewaltfrei wurde ich erzogen. ... und: ES HAT MIR NICHT GESCHADET!

Im Gegensatz dazu wurden meine etwa gleichaltrigen Cousins von ihren Eltern (der eine von seinem Vater und der andere von seiner Mutter!) regelmäßig grün und blau geschlagen. Als Kind konnte ich dies alles nicht einordnen und wußte damals auch nicht woher die blau-grün-gelben Flecken auf den Körpern meiner Cousins herkamen.
Heute erinnere ich mich, daß beide unter einer permanenten, grausamen Angst und unendlichen Schmerzen aufwuchsen.

Diese Erfahrungen haben mein ganzes Leben - bis heute geprägt.

Laut offizieller Statistik (die Dunkelziffer ist natürlich höher) wächst in Deutschland jedes Fünfte!!! Kind unter Gewalt auf.



8th feb: today´s Open Studio ^^ non-stop action ... with coffee and Sissy cake in the afternoon ... spicy hungarian goulash in the evening ... and a fierce reading with George Keeling at night* THX to eeeeveryone*

9th feb: YES, I am muuuuch mooooore excited about ´Courtney Love in Berlin´ than ´Madonna´s ass show´

heart emoticon Courtney <3

10th feb: <3 Brian heart emoticon sometimes Brian is in my dreams ... he seems to be alive there ... it´s like 100% real ... ... Brian was the most extraordinary person who has ever been in my life ... for 7 years ... one of his last postings on fb was "I am kind of in love with Trishy Lynn Sue" ... this name was a name which he created for me. it is wonderful that he wrote that and in the same way it makes it much more harder to life without him ... I was in love with him too <3

12th feb: <3 Michael (Stipe) heart emoticon it´s wonderful how his music is part of my life ... when I was young (25 years ago) I danced and laughed with his music and today while I am going through some rough times ... his music is again on my side and helps me through the day. I am happy that I had the chance to meet Michael ... hug him ... and tell him that I love him <3

13th feb: na jo ... na kloa schau I Opernball live auf 3sat =D

13th feb: dear diary, meanwhile I reached the phase where the pain of my psyche is reaching my body ... I am sick since weeks ... non-stop. it started with a heavy cold, then I got a very painful inner ear infection (had to take antibiotics) ... and now I got a very painful stiff neck since yesterday ... every move is full of pain. in the internet it is written, that it could be caused of psychic problems too ...
I haven´t been heavily sick since (I think) 18 years. the pain about Brian´s loss changed my life. I had a life before Brian´s death and another life started after his death. My life will never be the same.
my soul is full of pain and meanwhile my body too

15th feb: * Hollywood Freemason * today I was in the mood to wear the first time my original freemason mask from Hollywood* it´s a present from my wonderful friends ... the Dallesandro family ... ... I think they gave it to me when I need some very special mystic power ... and this moment is today! ... it felt exactly that way they told me*

15th feb: I looove that freemason mask heart emoticon it makes me look old ... but old from another century*

´ Kim you know how to make me happy grin emoticon ´ Kisses kiss emoticon from Berlin* I love you

16th feb: ach das war jetzt schön: Kölle Rosenmontagsumzug im Livestream von meiner Couch in Berlin gesehen* ... habe ja 3 1/2 Jahre sehr gerne in Köln gewohnt und Karneval mitgefeiert grin emoticon das war schon sehr toll! kiss emoticon heart emoticon ALAAAF nach KÖLLE <3

16th feb: ´to be sick´ means to me, when: my body hurts that much, that I am not able to create new paintings. Now I was sick for about 1 month ... I didn´t paint ... and I suffered a looooot.
Now I feel better ... almost healthy again. I think: now I need about 1 or 2 weeks to build up my body again, that I am strong enough ... to work on new paintings.

16th feb: "you are healthy for 5 more years and dead in 10 years!" ... I was 23 years young when a doctor said that to me.

My life had just begun. I finished one of the best schools of europe, worked in the Grand Hotel Vienna and was on the way to make a big career.

ok: ´5 more years´ was my reality and it was the truth at that time. I saw people dying because of AIDS when I was in the clinic. my starved body was covered with red rash. I needed to take a handfull of pills every 8 hours. I realized, that my young life will end soon.

I was young. I asked my ex-boyfriend if he is HIVnegativ and he said ´yes´. this was enough answer for me, for having sex with him without condoms. it was a mistake ... my mistake.

Immediatly I stopped working in the Grand Hotel and followed to do the things which I really wanted to do: I started working in bars of discotheques (Volksgarten, U4,...) and made the bar in brothel. the brothel owner asked me "you are working in the Grand Hotel. Are you sure that you want to quit that job for the reason to work at the bar of a brothel!?" ... I just answered "YES!".

3 years later. age 26: I wanted to die by myself ... alone. I didn´t want that my friends and family watch me the last years of my life, when dying because of AIDS. I left Vienna and moved to Cologne ... all by myself. I fullfilled another dream and started to work in a jeans shop (GAP for 3 years). I took a loooot of drugs, took as much debts from the bank as possible and prepared myself to die.

BUT at a certain point I realized that I am still ´healthy´ ... the medication became better and better ... I just needed to take 3 pills every 24 hours. it seemed as if I will not die that much early as the doctor told me.

in the age of 29: I decided that I will do ´something´ with my life. I stopped taking drugs, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, became vegetarian, kicked out the television of my flat and paid my debts back. I thought: ´photography´ is something what I always did and liked ... since I was a child of 8 years. I started to take pictures ... more and more professional. some months later I moved to Berlin and started a ´new´ life as photographer and artist. it became immediatly kind of ´successful´ with the support of people such as Henning von Berg, Rosa von Praunheim, Ralf König, ...

but in my head I still had the idea of dying soon ... perhaps an very ugly death. in 2005 I made a black leather mask as my trademark. I did wear it on all public events and never showed my face. the real reason why I did wear that mask for 8 years, was: I knew how much AIDS can destroy faces and I didn´t want that people see my face when AIDS should destroy mine too.

I took photographies of the Berlin of the past 10 years. Meanwhile I paint those photographies in oil on canvas. this is very important to me. I know what ´death´ and ´life´ means. when I paint about life, then you see and feel ´life´ ... I don´t use the color ´black´ in my paintings ... I love life and want to show to people what it means ´to life´ and ´be alive´.

it´s now 18 years that I am HIVpositive. it´s no fun! nothing what someone should experience!
I still life my life as free as possible, because I know that every day could be the last one. this hasn´t been just words for me ... this was my reality and somehow still is.

I would like to thank Barbie Breakout <3 ... with her posting she motivated me to talk about my story too.


New Years Concert 2nd january 2015
filed under mix

at 2nd january I got invited by Ulrich Koestlin to join the New Years Concert with violinist Albrecht Menzel.

it was STUNNING AMAZING^^ Albrecht Menzel just 22 years young belongs to the best violinists in Germany ... he played a Stradivary from the year 1703.

a very wonderful evening and start in the new year 2015*



Patrick Bartsch *new paintings* 1st january 2015
filed under
fantasy48 - paintings

it is rare that I realize bigger size paintings. this painting of "Barack Obama in Berlin in the year 2008" has the size 1,53 meters x 1,22 meters. I like it*


------------------- price for each painting of this serie: 700 euro --------------------



selfies 24th december and 31st december 2014

this year I prefered to be by myself at:

above: christmas with some *mmmmjjjaammmmmyyyyy* homemade food

below: New Years Eve I stayed at home at slept most of the night. at midnight I went to the window and watched some fireworks outside and opened a fortune cookie "Your trouble will disappear and you´ll be lucky."



some postings which I created on facebook 31st december 2014 - 19th january 2015
filed under mix

stories mix posted on facebook:

31st dec: *** HAPPY NEW YEAR 2015 to eeeeeveryone <3 ... my new year´s eve party started already with a speciality from the black forrest (where I come from): cooked pork shoulder (*Schäufele*) with Spätzle, sprouts and yellow boletuses in port sauce =P DELICIOUS =P

31st dec: oh Brian-Tennessee <3 exactly one year ago: you and Travis and Mario and Pietro invited us to the New Years Eve Party ... it was for sure one of the best New Years Eve Parties I have ever been ... it was wooooonderful ... full of fun, peace, joy, ... (not one fight happened that night!) ... I was one of the first who came there: the flat was empty and the table for the drinks too ... I just said "I take some tap water pls!" and needed to smile a looooot =D ... almost eachone brought something to drink and eat ... it was enough for everybody and the whole night ... WHAT A FAMILY !!! <3 :* even loved Ulrich and loved Nathan came to celebrate Ulrich´s b-day there* ... the whole night uncountable guests came and celebrated with you Brian <3 ... somehow I always had the feeling, that this party in your flat ... in your private rooms ... was a kind of Good-Bye Party which you gave to us <3 Thank You :*

this year I decided to eat the whole night ... alone ... perhaps I will do a walk later ... and tomorrow morning I like to watch the New Years Concert of the Vienna Philharmonic ... and tonite when I look into the sky then I will think of you <3

1st jan: ^^ HELLO 2015 ^^ Your trouble will disappear and you´ll be lucky. =D (from a fortune cookie)

1st jan: live goes on ... in 2015 ... today with some background work*

2nd jan: THANK YOU ^^ it was a BIG honor to join the new years concert of virtuoso violinist ALBRECHT MENZEL playing on his Stradivari from the year 1709 ^^
Albrecht Menzel's photo.

3rd jan: our Nathan on the cover of EXBERLINER* and I LOVE IT <3

4th jan: I am very glad, that in 2008 Brian took me to the event "Barack Obama in Berlin". Brian showed me what moves him ... what is important to him about his country. that day was an adventure ... and now the painting about that day is finished

5th jan: telephone call with my dad:

me: "I am working a lot in the next weeks."
my dad: "don´t work too much!"

I think the fact, that my parents love me, is one of the biggest presents what I got for my life.

everybody should have and deserves wonderful parents!

6th jan: ... those dreams when an invincible lion plays one of the leading parts in a dream ^^ oh, he prefered to life in my flat, than somewhere outside ... and that fact caused some troubles ... at the end we became friends on a way and accepted eachother^^ the kuddling scenes have been kind of strange ... with such a BIG HAIRY WILD LION ... *hmmmpfff* btw. he was straigt: because his wife lived in my flat too :)

7th jan: +++ be responsible for Y O U R RELIGION +++

I LOVE the beautiful things created by religious groups such as: temples, churches, mosques, paintings,sculptures, books, ...
I LOVE to watch people who are deeply connected in their religion and how they celebrate it: buddhists, muslims, christians, jews,...

BUUUUUT when anything goes wrong in Y O U R RELIGION, then FIRST the people of Y O U R RELIGION have to STAND UP and PROTEST against it! ... I see that as YOUR DUTY !!!

(when someone is interessted in my religion: then here it is: I life without any religion. my religion is the universe, flowers, stones, humans, animals, moon and sun,... my religion is not human made.)

10th jan: my TOP 3 FB BLOGGERS aaaaare


NR. 1 : the leeeeeeeegendary JAYNE COUNTY aka Jayne Rogers * applause * * applause * * applause * emotions emotions emotions in eeeevery posting *THANK YOU JAYNE <3

NR. 2 : wooooooonderful Frank Wilde * applause * * applause * * applause * Frank brings THE BEAUTY & THE ART on my fb ... on a daily bases *THANK YOU FRANK <3

NR. 3 : one of the best fighters alive BUAKAW with Banchamek Gym * applause * * applause * * applause * Buakaw shows every day that everybody can be a winner ... he is posting almost eeeeeveryday *THANK YOU BUAKAW ^^

10th jan: "Hr. Bartsch haben Sie auch Erotika in Ihrer Sammlung?"
"Ja, in 2014 habe ich 2 Erotika in Öl auf Leinwand geschaffen. Diese sind nicht der Öffentlichkeit zugänglich. Diese sind Teil meines ganz privaten ´Geheimen Museums´ "

... sehr tolle Dokumentation über die Versteckten Kunstschätze dieser Erde. Geschaffen von beinahe allen bedeutenden Künstlern. ... und was mich besonders freut: Edward Lucie-Smith, welchen ich in Berlin kennenlernen durfte, spricht auch ein paar weise Worte zu diesem Thema*

11th jan: ^^ oil on canvas ^^ ... my blood ... my passion ... (no no no just a joke :) on that photography, this is just a wonderful red and not my blood ... *ääähmmm* not yet ;) )

11th jan: sunday °* working on new paintings such as Romy Haag, Pünktchen alias Marlene Dietrich, Tilda Swinton, Tatjana Taft, Micky Friedmann, Bastian, Mukhtar, and some more <3

11th jan: on friday it´s KATE MOSS´s B-DAY =D that old b*tch will be 41 years :* I think I will bake some chocolate cake ( YES! YES! YES! a Sacher cake receipt =P ) and celebrate her bday on saturday * eeeeeveryone is invited ^^ ... and perhaps there will be part III of the reading with George Keeling !? is it that saturday George ? <3 :* :)

12th jan: * THE BEST IS JUST GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU * ... being sweaty at KaDeWe ... *DAMN* I bought ingredients for about 80 euros ... for a white Sacher chocolate cake ^^ let´s celebrate together KATE MOSS´s BDAY on saturday =D ... and btw : <3 THANK YOU to aaaaall supporters of my life as painter, with buying paintings :* pls join us this saturday and get your piece of OUR White Sacher Chocolate Cake =P

12th jan: I love it when young girls are smiling while watching me taking selfies in a shopping center :) they know how I feel =D they REALLY understand my feelings =D =D

12th jan: ja, so ääähnlich war´s bei mir dann wohl auch: bis ich dann mit 23 Jahren etwa 18 000 Euro Schulden hatte und nicht wußte wie ich meine Miete bezahlen sollte. Dafür hatte ich etwa 5 Versicherungen welche ich im Grunde genommen nicht brauchte...

Irgendwann hatte ich dann das Gefühl, daß mich diese kapitalistische Gesellschaft genau so DUMM haben wollte. ... ich habe soviel Zinsen an Banken bezahlt, daß ich mir dafür hätte nen neues Auto kaufen können ...

Jetzt mit 41 Jahren habe ich das alles irgendwie im Griff ... keine Schulden und das mit den Versicherungen klappt auch ...

... und ich bin mir sicher: genau so oder ähnlich ergeht es gaaaaaaanz vielen anderen auch *hhhmmmpppfffff* :(

13th jan: *** Daniel Richter ***

yesterday I saw Daniel Richter ... a very successful german painter. it was in a private atmosphere ... I didn´t talk to him ... I just looked at him for some minutes ... from a voyeuristic perspective.

I like that! ... just to feel someones aura

14th jan: what a BAD BAD society ... which allows people to kick out other people of their flats (without any reasons). today I had to open my flat for someone who wants to buy my flat (means they want to move into this flat as fast as possible!). I felt RAPED with those strangers in my flat! ... when they left I continued with some paintings and of course they became weird, confused and chaotic ... as my feelings have been today. ... and now: when the society treats me BAD, then at least I have to treat myself in a good way ... and for that reason I just ate some scallops *mmmmjjjammmmyyyy* btw: I am thinking to move to PANKOW ... somewhere close to a green area* if you know something pls let me know

15th jan: Alice in Wonderland: "Patrick, you have 3 wishes! what is your first one!?"
Patrick: "OOOOH Alice may I kiss you <3 <3 :* !?"
Alice: "NO NO NO I am not included in those wishes!"
Patrick: "Oh :( ok, then I want a teaching lesson with Monet ... for one hour."

15th jan: <3 Brian, my love <3 almost exactly one year ago I became 40 years old: for that reason my parents came to Berlin. my parents got divorced when I was 8 years young. since that, it was only the third time that I was with both of them together. my 40th birthday day I just spent with my parents. but the day before: Brian came here. he wanted to meet my parents. and I wanted to introduce to my parents the man I love most on that planet.

it was a wonderful hour when all the luck in the world had happened to me.

lucky moments can be over very fast ... when you experience lucky moments, then enjoy it from the deepest bottom of your heart <3

R.I.P. Brian <3

16th jan: *WOW* what a wonderful birthday present: today starts the groupshow "Heart Breaking Even" at the HA HA Gallery in Southampton ^^ ... when you are in town pls join the event*

16th jan: Alice in Wonderland: "ok Patrick, your first wish became true already ... you met Monet in your dreams. what is your second wish !?"
Patrick: "KATE <3 KATE MOSS <3 <3 <3 We spent the same amount of lifetime on that planet ... both born on 16th january 1974. I want to talk with her about SEX DR`GS AND PETE :* "
Alice screams to Patrick´s fb friends: " PLS IS ANYONE IN CONTACT WITH KATE !!!??? I HAVE A WISH TO FULFILL ! "
Patrick: "Thank You Alice <3 :* "

16th jan: looking 41 years back makes me look like that on that picture, because of:

* running around in public with a black leather mask in my thirties
* moving illegal (<= why it was ´illegal´ is another story) to Paris in the age of 19
* being a leader of a gang in the age of 11
* smuggeld myself into one of the best schools of Europe in the age of 14 (right! I should have never been there, BUT ... )
* started to paint with oil on canvas in the age of 39
* and and and

there are good sides and bad sides in everyone´s life ... today I want to focus on the good side =D

Thank You Mati for that wonderful photography*

16th jan: Alice in Wonderland: "ok Patrick, I fullfilled you the first wish ´having Monet in your dreams´ , then I am working hard on your second wish ´meeting Kate Moss´. now there is one last wish left ..."
Patrick: "Brian <3 I would like to be together with him again"
Alice: "you will! you will! one day you will be together again! just be patient."

18th jan: I always felt connected with those guys. and NOW I am connected with them with my life, my work and the message in it. I fullfill almost every point which they did about 150 years ago: Corbet, Manet, Monet and Cézanne

18th jan: hey diary, I am just watching a documentary about NIETZSCHE. of course I am interessted in his work, but I never understood it ... the world of Nietzsche, Schoppenhauer, ... always seemed to me as stories from another planet.

I was never good with words or reading. actually: reading always caused some unpleasant pain inside of me. I read only about 5 books in my whole life.

In school I was forced to learn languages such as english, french, spanish and some latin in my early years. I was always bad in those languages and never had a talent for that (actually: language classes made me always feel sick). further: I was always confused about how many languages do exist and that I could never talk with everyone on that planet. for that reason: I focused on reading faces, body language, ...

but I know about the importance of philosophers such as Nietzsche and therefore I watch this documentary now ... in hope to get at least a little bit closer to their knowledge

19th jan: <3 Esterházy Cake <3 at Patrick´s Open Studio *

okokok ... I can´t wait and have to tell it to you today already: for this saturday´s Open Studio I plan to bake an ^^ Esterházy Cake ^^ ... this cake is veeeery hard to get, because it is a looot of work and has just the best ingredients ... a DIAMOND of AUSTRIAN-HUNGARY EMPIRE BAKE ART ... OH YES! T H A T is a TRUE SISSY CAKE =P <3

I loooove that cake*

19th jan: just for the protocol:
Patrick Bartsch is an impressionistic painter of the 21st century

(or do you have a better describtion!?)

impressionists such as Corbet, Manet, Monet and Cézanne did paint the society as it was (also and especially in a political way). and using a new style of creating paintings.

I paint the colorful, free, liberal society of Berlin of the zero years (based on my own photographies). which is a political statement too. and I am using a new style of creating my paintings.


christmas market 15th december 2014
filed under mix

my dentist is at Potsdamer Platz ... that´s perfect^^ because each time when I need to go there, I take some time to do a little walk at the Potsdamer Platz. today I eeeeeeeenjoyed the sensationel shinny glitzy christmas market*



ZIRKUSparty 13th dec 2014
filed under parties

I got invited to be the host of ZIRKUSparty ^^ and it was GREAT ^^ THANK YOU <3

on the pic with Florian and Gloria Viagra :*



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