postings which I created on facebook 14th october 2014 - 28th october
mix posted on facebook:
oct: when I had the age of 3 1/2 years ...
the first years of my life I spent next to my mom ... literally...
every day and almost every moment ... my mom is a tailor and worked
at home ... most of the time I was sitting next to her on the floor
... I did drawings of pirate ships (my most favorite theme), animals,...
and I created things with tailor materials my mom gave me
have some early memories ... and one of them happened on 16th august
1977, when I had the age of 3 1/2 years. my mom was crying non-stop
... for hours ... I asked her why she is crying ... she looked down
on me with red eyes and endless tears running out of her eyes ...
she just said "Elvis died."
some years later when we talked about that, then she told me, that
the radio station she was listening to, played for 4 days non-stop
Elvis, when he died
oct: Iraq Mosul
I talked with someone whom I know since some months ... he is about
60 years old and father of children. we like to talk to eachother
... we understand eachother ... have a similar sense of humor ...
we are interessted in art and life
I always thought, that he is from Marocco or Tunesia ... I asked
him today where he comes from exactly ... while answering my question,
I realized how the expression of his face is changing ... he answered
"from Iraq ... from Mosul"
told me some stories (which we all know already from television)
from his view ... but it was more the expression of his face, what
touched me ... I could see and feel the pain, the tragedy, the helpless
actual sitiuation in his city, ... he suffered with every word speaking
... but he told me about his life and his friends which are still
realized again, that the world looks always different when you talk
with someone and look in someone´s eyes ... now Mosul is alive
oct: " yes, there was a time in my life, when it was important
to me to meet the greatest porn actors of that planet. ... and I
met them! "
oct: °° poolparty with Jeff Stryker °°
the info for the younger readers: Jeff Stryker is the ulimative
and all time greatest male pornstar ever*
years ago I knew a young guy ... 21 years, phantastic beautiful,
... he liked me and wanted to have me for an invitation as his guest.
I had no idea what was expecting me:
he called me and said, that he is right now in front of my balcony
in a car: he was sitting in a big darkgreen limousine to pick me
up^^ the driver drove us to the Marriott hotel ... we followed the
instructions of the invitation and ended up in the pool area, which
was reserved for a private party ^^
phantastic dj played, of course free drinks and a delicious buffet,
... in the pool uncountable pink balls did swim around ... a group
of hot guys was sitting around. the host welcomed us* some of his
friends have been there too. then more and more hot guys entered
the party ... it must have been around 30 ... soon I realized, that
this was a private party with some of the hottest pornactors of
that planet ... and when Jeff Stryker joined the party while wearing
black sunglases and a white bathrobe (of course opened), then I
knew that this party is VEEEERY SPECIAL^^
tried to get in contact with one of those HOT guys ... but immediatly
he made me understand, that his body only can be touched by the
hands of a millionaire
was frustrated and tried not to bring my bad mood into the party
... there was only one place left for me: inside of the pool, playing
with those pink balls and watching those HOT guys from a distance
... after swimming around there ... almost alone most of the time
... we left^^ ... also my young friend was annoyed because the host
just wanted to have sex with him all the time^^
HAPPY HUSTLABALL BERLIN 2014 ***
oct: what a wonderful relaxed afternoon ... laying on my couch ...
eating sweets ... listened about 5 hours to Elvis ... and thought
about the many times I have been at HustlaBall Berlin ... remembered
the pornstars I met ... Mukhtar the one I wanted to marry and we
spent an unforgettable night at Berghain ... Wolff the German hottie
and our sex started already in the taxi ... the British BIIIIIG
c*ck guy we met eachother in the toilet and spent hours together
at my place and taking tons of c*caine ... Johan Paulik I met in
Bratislava and I was that much drunk with vodka, that I wasn´t
able to speak anymore ... and some more ... oooh it was nice*
now I go to bed (8.15 p.m. in Berlin) and plan to wake up early
to continue to paint ... with a smile on face :)
Night Everyone :*
oct: half of my heart is American* ... now I will continue with
the big ´Obama speech in Berlin´ painting ... while
I am listening to Elvis <3 :)
oct: diesen Kommentar mußte ich einfach endlich mal auf Claudia
Roth´s fb Seite loswerden: Sie wirkt für mich einfach
nur noch realitätsfremd ... und das ist tragisch:
geehrte Frau Roth, ich fand Sie mal richtig klasse in der Politik.
Mittlerweile würde ich mir einfach nur noch wünschen,
daß Sie sich einfach aus der Politik entfernen und wieder
um Nachwuchsrockbands kümmern. Da sind Sie wohl besser aufgehoben
und diese brauchen Sie auch! Beste Grüsse Patrick
oct: Patrick´s monolog: "my paintings are not bad. I
mean I started just 1 year and 10 months ago. do I have to work
on a perfection? ... no. there are eeeeeenough other painters which
are muuuuuuch better with perfection. perfection is not my goal
(and never was) ... I do other things: my paintings are allowed
to be trashy (as Berlin is and always was). my paintings are colorful
and made of fun ... I have always a good time while creating those
paintings <= that´s what counts to me ... that people are
watching my paintings, feel the fun and that makes them feel good
... as Berlin is and was. I love my paintings <3 "
oct: * Brian for President *
sunday I think a little bit more about <3 Brian <3
believed in Brian
I believed that Brian will become a leader of the United States
wasn´t just an illusion ... Brian´s grand aunt Victoria
Woodhall Claflin was the first and only female president candidate
of America ... Brian did wear her name and had her blood
"one day you will be a leader of your country!"
Brian "why do you always say that?"
Patrick "because you are the one who is able to do that. you
have everything what is needed. Look at your life: you travelled
through more than 60 countries. you have an incredible knowledge
about politcs all around the world. you are someone who is able
to attract people ... people listen to you! ... and last but not
least you are Brian-Tennessee Claflin ... you own the spirit of
Brian "are you serious?"
Patrick "yes, Brian! you are born to become a leader of the
United States of America!"
Brian "OH TRISH! stop pls!"
Patrick "I mean look what Arnold Schwarzenegger did when he
was young. and look at you! it´s not a choice ... you are
born that way!"
times we talked about that ... somehow I always had the feeling,
that Brian was suprised, that someone believed in him ... thaaaat
YES, I was serious about it.
oct: Brian "goddamn Trish! you know that I love you!"
Patrick "I love you too"
Brian "give me a hug!"
... and then we hugged eachother
this are those memories which keep someone alive, ... but this are
also those memories which make a life without him ... a nightmare
oct: ´s top 3 themes of photographies:
I see tones of pictures posted here on fb: and I realized, that
I favorite special themes:
people are posing with celebs ... they all have that special look
of being excited and being happy =D
eating pictures ... OMG people putting some delicious food in their
mouths ... many of them look like animals ... veeeeery cute <3
people showing their tongues and f*ck fingers ... those face expressions
are priceless :*
oct: okokok ... already now ... I am thinking about which CHRISTMAS
COOKIES I should bake this year
I bought already first ingredients such as *mmyummmy* marzipan and
you may taste them at the Open Studio ... every week some different
ones ... aaaaand YES PLS you are invited to bring some own christmas
CHRISTMAS COOKIES PARTIES =P CAAAAN´T WAIT =D
oct: dear diary,
... male & female ... are my neighbours since about 10 years.
I see them every day and every night when I look out of the windows
of my flat/studio. some of those prostitutes I know since many years
and some I know in a personal way.
I feel kind of relaxed and spend more time on the windows as usual.
there are a lot of prostitutes on the street tonite. while watching
them, I am listening to the concert of Pavarotti.
life ... is the life I did choose ... I am the main actor and director
in one person ... it feels good and I know, that this is the movie
I want to see ... to feel ... life
oct: it´s planed that the first CHRISTMAS COOKIES PARTY :P
will happen on open studio saturday 15th november 2014 ... I will
bake cookies and everybody is invited to bring own christmas cookies
too* I think that it is a loooot of fun =D aaaaaand *mmyammmmyyy*
oct: +++ The Artist The Criminal +++
belong to those 95 % artists which are not able to pay all their
bills with the selling of their art (at least I may pay the stuff
that I need to work with the selling of my art).
to my art, I am working 11times a month in a hotel and get social
money (Hartz IV) from Germany. I need that social money to life.
It´s a fight for the whole year to get that money. In their
eyes ... in the eyes of Germany ... I am a criminal ... a shady
thief who is stealing money from Germany ... someone useless. the
people who are working in the social center (Jobcenter) and the
German law give me non-stop that feeling. it´s not seen and
not accepted that I am working literally day and night for art ...
that I work with my art for the society ... for Berlin ... for Germany
... for future generations
try to stop me :( ... non-stop
oct: no one said it would be easy to paint the event "Barack
Obama in Berlin" event in a size 1,60 meter x 1,22 meter ...
today I painted some of his bodyguards ... I think they like me
as much as I like them*
oct: dear diary,
when I went to a meeting, then I passed the university of arts ...
by chance. I didn´t know that building. it is AMAZING beautiful
... an old HUGE building ... through the windows I took a look inside
... everything looked clean inside and everyone busy. I felt a lot
of respect for everyone involved with that building.
parents teached me to dress suitable for every occasion. I realized
that during those years in Berlin: I never felt suitable for such
a beautiful location. literally I lived in the underground ... and
almost never left it. in the first years I lived in the fetish/sm/bondage
scene and then I lived in the redlight and party scene.
I am on the way to come up from the underground and see/feel the
other side of Berlin. I know how to do it ... my parents teached
it to me and I learned it while I have been at school, where I had
to wear suits and ties every day ... little things will be difficult
for me, such as: I love to smack (because the food tastes better)
<= things like that I have to stop ... of course*
it´s not just a question of the body ... it´s about
what´s going on in the mind. and my mind is READY now*
oct: okokok, dann hier auch ein bischen Promotion für Kostja´s
neuen Frisösentuckenfilm (*ooooH ist das jetzt political correct???)
... immerhin IST Kostja für mich DER BESTE männliche Jungschauspieler
oct: the last warm days this year ... I paint with open windows
... this is why I paint now eeeeevery day ... very soon it will
become cold: they said: down to zero degrees in beginning of november
oct: (comment to an article) I told you already years ago: MJ is
copying ELVIS with the death performance ... no one of them died
... those deaths made billions of money to the record industry ...
it´s the world of capitalism we are living in ^^
oct: *** Patrick Bartsch Solo Exhibition ***
save the date: very wonderful travel agency Over the Rainbow (Knesebeckstraße
89) and lovely Gaby are celebrating their jubelee on 15th november
and invited me to show some paintings* YES what an honor* it will
be my very first solo exhbition just with paintings in oil on canvas.
Pls join the event*
oct: *** moments of life *** ´Pavarotti & I in one room´
moments of life I will remember forever
17 years ago: I worked in the bar of the Grand Hotel Vienna, which
is located very close to the Vienna Opera House. for that reason
many people from the Opera stayed in the hotel. as guests I had
each one of the three tenors, a looot of directors of an orchestra
(Lorin Maazel), and maaany more
Pavarotti stayed at our hotel ... he was kind of sick and had a
much thicker scarf as usual around his neck ... he looked sweaty
... the entrance lobby of the hotel is kind of similar to a big
concert hall ... there exist 4 elevators for the guests. the lobby
was kind of empty, just the receptionists, the concierge, the doorman
and I have been there and of course some people around Pavarotti.
while he was waiting for the elevator, he did a check with his voice
... when I write here "check", then it has been the most
powerful & clear voice I have ever listened to ... no microphone,
no technique between us ... just Pavarottis voice and my ears. that
has been one of those moments which gave an influence to my life
forever ... to hear, to feel, to realize what it means to be the
best in the world. Pavarotti is one of my big idols ... he smiled
a lot and made other people smile ... all his life <3
still can hear him*
postings which I created on facebook 21st september 2014 - 13th october
mix posted on facebook:
sept: between summer and winter
sun is shining and reminds me of summer ... and it is cold at the
same time... this reminds me of the coming winter
there is that feeling of being in between
didn´t exist any summer feelings this year to me ... sometimes
I reached out for some rays of the sun ... just to get reminded
that we have summer ... all summer long I had that feeling that
´summer 2014´ should be over ... as fast as possible
... Brian left that planet on 5th june ... I didn´t want that
there will be winter and all signs say that it will be a hard long
cold winter ... right now I prepare myself for being alone in the
darkness and the coldness of the coming winter ... I need this winter
that way ... it will reflect my feelings
little flames warmed The Little Match Girl ... my paintings will
warm my soul ... in the dark cold days & nights of the next
sept: pls is anyone at Ello already? ... I aaaaalways get those
- meanwhile annoying - messages "We will invite you as soon
as we can." "We will invite you as soon as we can."
"We will invite you as soon as we can." ...
love(d) facebook, but I really need something N E W ... is Ello
the new thing or not !?!?!?!?!?!?
sept: knows he got bored when ... I am starting to find answers
to identify myself:
I am a photographer who does interpretations of his photographies
in oil on canvas.
special theme: the glamorous years of Berlin ( 2003 - 2014 )
that short enough? is that the reality? ... and why the mask?
okokok I WANTED TO BE A CENTRAL FIGURE of the glamorous circus in
Berlin ... and eeeeeeveryone should realize me ME MEEEEE
that sounds veeeery egocentric
dear Patrick, better you stop writing right now ... it starts to
sound weird ... VEEEERY WEEEEIIIIRD
sept: ^^ MASTER PATRICK IS BAAAACK on ELLO ^^
ELLO ... ^^WOW^^ I was able to type in "Master Patrick"
as name *WHUUUHHUIIII* ... that was neeeeeever possible on fb, because
"Master" was always on the not-allowed-list.
COURSE my name there is now: MasterPatrick ... I used that name
already before I moved to Berlin ... it´s absolutly authentic
and my artist name since about 12 years
and YES! I will show there some old stuff too which you have never
seen before ... some authentic nude, fetish, SM, bondage stuff ...
relax! relax! even Mapplethorpe worked on stuff like that*
find me there ello.co/masterpatrick
sept: P*RN IS ART ... too*
let´s see if ELLO complains: a professional naked ballet dancer
... yes, he has a hard one ... yes, it looks like p*rn ... BUT THIS
IS ART ... it was his BIG dream to dance naked ... with a hard c*ck
... I was allowed to photograph it ... NOW to see on ELLO*
and my Last Supper in Fetish ... from the year 2006 ... yes, there
are nude people on that photography ... BUT IT IS ART ... each one
on that photography has a personal relationship to the church ...
and I got help from an priest to create that photography ... it
needed 1 !!! year to create that photography ...NOW my head picture
sept: ELLO invitation needed? just send me your e-mail adress ...
see you there in the adult area :*
sept: soul to soul
I realized that I found ways to paint souls ... I am veeery good
with empathy ... it was part of my survival tactic to learn that
already in a young age ... I am very happy that my paintings consists
of bodies ... aaand much more of feelings, energy, emotions, aura,
... YES! it´s the human soul what people are able to see in
my created paintings
sept: fb caused HUNGER FOR NUDITY ... all those years no naked Marilyn
Monroe, no naked Madonna, no naked Schwarzenegger, no naked Brad
Pitt, ... no nudity on paintings ... NUDITY IS GOOD ... and for
that reason I just uploaded another of mine nude photographies on
sept: SHOCKED ABOUT P*RN & NUDITY !?
is one of few places on that planet, where sex on stage is allowed.
for that reason there exist mega events such as the annual HustlaBall
Berlin with many thousands of guests and international showacts.
& film sessions with nude models on almost every place in and
around Berlin <= for that reason, creative people from all around
the world came to Berlin to realize their visions for movies, photographies,...
... all those years
P*rn & Nudity belongs to the glamorous years of Berlin. Me as
"historian", I was there and photographed it too. with
ELLO I found again a place to present some of that ... it starts
with Jeff Stryker´s c*ck & Lady Bunny in front of it and
doesn´t stop with famous p*rn models in huge old fabric buildings.
pls enjoy my ongoing exhibition on ELLO ... and YES! my profile
here on fb will be ... as always ... without nudity & p*rn
sept: FIERCE CHICHI LARUE at Hustlaball Berlin ... okokok I know
that you want to see how Americans are partyyyyyyiiiiiing in Berlin
... T H A T NIGHT with ChiChi was one of the best nights eeeever
... pls find the picture and some more new ones on my ELLO ^^
I AM VEEEEERY EXCITED ABOUT ELLO :D
sept: HIER im Wiener Lesben-&Schwulenhaus machte ich meine ersten
Gehversuche als Schwuler ... Ich bin GESCHOCKT über die Situation
in Wien !!!
sept: KILL GAYS ... is written on the lesbian-gay-center in Vienna
write it here in english, because EVERYONE should know what is going
supports queer people in Belgrade / Serbia ... it is meant that
this is the reason for those hate writings on the wall
4 p.m. there will be a demonstration in Vienna ... with a title
"WE DON´T HAVE FEAR!"
support our queer friends in Vienna / Austria ... and of course
sept: <3 sunday story <3
doctor says to a pregnant woman "there are a lot of complications
with the baby. it would be better to abort the pregnancy."
the little weak woman says "I want my baby!"
the doctor "but the baby could be heavy disabled or you could
die during the birth!"
the woman "I want my baby!"
the doctor "I am not able to be responsible for that. pls find
pregnant woman went to some doctors and each one refused to make
the birth. finally she ended up in the university clinic and they
said "ok. we will try it, but we are not able to make any promises."
woman willing to die for her baby was laying on the operating table
... she was surrounded by some doctors and many students watching
the birth. it was a cold winter night on the 16th of january. she
just remembered how a snow storm opened a window and someone closed
the window again.
the baby was born it came directly in another room and was conected
with several machines. some days later the mother got her baby in
her arms for the first time. both survived
woman is my mother <3 I LOVE YOU MOM <3
sept: it´s weird how ´Master Patrick´ returned
into my life ... yes, ´Master Patrick´ is very different
to ´Patrick Bartsch´ ... they are different as ´fire´
and ´Fantasy48´ pleeeeaaaaase don´t let´s
talk about thaaat glamour drama queen ... I am happy she takes a
nap now :) ... ´the emperor of art´ *lol*
and if you think, that I am suffering from a multiple personality
syndrom, then I just can say: yes, you are right!
are in many ways different
artists are CRRrrrrAAAAaaaaaAAAAZZZZzzzzzyyyyyyYYYY :P
sept: pls can someone help me with paypal? I have a paypal account,
but never used it. now someone ordered a painting and want to send
the money to my paypal account.
but now I don´t know which information I should send him?
is there a number or adress I need to send him?
sept: I am still under shock because Brian left this world
was so young ... 33 years
could have never imagined that I have to life without Brian
am still in the process of realizing that Brian will never again
be on that planet
now: those are the hardest and most difficult months I did ever
oct: *** bf needed <3 :*
the moment I feel veeeeery gay :*
reason could be, that I need a bf <3 ... meanwhile I want someone
:p ... and step by step I am starting to look for someone :*
... okokok I am looking for someone AMAZING BEAUTIFUL ... <=
... *OH, that´s just the truth* beautiful people inspire me
O ... someone incredible smart ... <= ... that would make eeeeeverything
O ... someone who touches my soul .... <= ... loyal & honest
are the keywords for that^^
*äääööööhmmmm* I think winter
is coming soon ... the time when eeeeeverybody needs someone :)
oct: " I HATE GAYS AND YOU SHOULD HATE THEM TOO!"
means "Dries Verhoeven is dangerous!"
2014: "QUEERS AS VICTIMS and everybody enjoys punching them!"
it enough that meanwhile almost every week queer people get punched
on public places such as in streets, in the underground, ...
hate and violence against Queer People has reached a new level in
it goes on ... in a SHOCKING way:
some days there is happing a "show" in Berlin which I
would like to name " I HATE GAYS AND YOU SHOULD HATE THEM TOO!".
Dries Verhoeven presents private chats with erotic contents ...
and shows them in public ... including the pictures of the victims.
it leaves the queer victims raped ... raped in public ... and part
of the public is laughing and applauding. someone compared that
"show" with the violent gay hunt in Russia and other countries
... I think he is right
shocking too: all that is supported by The Netherlands, by HAU -
Hebbel am Ufer (which all those years got appreciated by queer artists
and queer audience) even newspapers supported that action ... especially
SHAME on Siegessäule and blu which gave that action that much
space and publicity ... HOW COULD THEY!?
suffered with the story of wonderful Parker Tilghman ... pls find
his story in his profile. NO ONE DESERVES THAT!
oct: * MY GOD *
was just sitting in the autumn sun ... that wonderful bright light
which loads me up with energy ... I just thought ´MY GOD´
... this is my god
is hard to imagine how people believe in human made fairytale gods
more than in the sun & nature
oct: today I ate some raw fish (Hering) with potatoes ... when Brian
was here and I made that food, then he looked at it veeeeeery sceptical
and said with a voice ("through his nose") "aaaiiiiiiiihhhhh
thaaaat German fooooood aaaaiiihhhhh" ... he didn´t touch
it *lol* Brian loved Berlin and Germany, BUT he always prefered
American style food* <3 Brian <3
oct: a conversation with Brian about my new flyer would be very
similar like that:
Patrick "that´s my first flyer as painter."
Brian "OOOH she´s doing promotion!"
will always have a space in my heart and my head ... I am lucky,
that I still hear and feel him* .... ooooooooooh I miss him <3
...... for me .... without him .... it´s only half of the
joy here on the planet
oct: some years ago ... perhaps about 10 years ago ... I had the
illusion, that it would be very romantic if an artist is living
in his own studio ... day&night together with his art
that time there didn´t exist any signs, that this dream could
happen to me
and today it´s me who is living in his own studio together
with his art ... and it is very romantic*
oct: ... when I was a Master ... I did photography too ... with
slaves/bottoms accepting that the photographies will be published
... just found some soft ones for you ... from different bondage
sessions with H O T T E S T guys from all around the world ... oh,
it was fun playing around that way :) ... pls find 10 photographies
at the Patrick Bartsch Adult Exhibition on ELLO
oct: W H O COMPLAINED ABOUT THAT FUNNY PHOTOGRAPHY I SHARED !!!???
(a guy with a pinochio tattoo on his belly, above of his c*ck. NO
nudity to see there!)
complain <= T H A T IS FORMER EAST GERMANY STASI !!! uncountable
people suffered because that ... for decades !!! ... ended up in
prison ... and and and ... ... I DON´T WANT THAT HERE!
fine to complain, BUT pls write me a message ... YES, I want to
know who complains ...
!!! pls coward "fb friend" remove yourself from my friendslist
AND EVERYONE too, who thinks that a photography of a guy with a
pinochio tattoo on his belly is not possible to look at *hhhhmmmmpppfffff*
oct: ... and to the haters in fb friendslist: if you don´t
like my postings: GO !
oct: some people just make my day a wooooooonderful day* Thank you
<3I feel muuuuuch better and stronger now*
said "but don´t post it on fb!" ... okokok I will
not post it on fb ... just wanna post that I am happy now :)
october: (Venus von Willendorf) it was love at first sight <3
when I saw her the first time in a book at school ^^ this scultpure
teached me at that young age, that there has to be more, than my
life was at that moment ...
Genzken 8th september 2014
feelings* is it right or is it wrong ... having such feelings ...
one of my GREATEST idols ... one of the most influencal female artists
of the past 30 years (as MOMA New York wrote it about her) ... Isa
Genzken ... seen some days ago ... Paparazzi feelings* is it right
or is it wrong
postings which I created on facebook 31st august 2014 - 20th september
mix posted on facebook:
august: ^^ GLAMOUR ERA ^^
there is found a perfect name for the past years in Berlin^^ the
glamour era which I photographed and paint now in oil on canvas.
glamour in Berlin will go finally with the resignation of the mayor
Klaus Wowereit and the glamour of the underground party scene is
definatly gone with the passing of Brian. in those past years everything
was glamour GLAMour GLAMOUR
glamour era of Berlin is gone and we will aaaaaaalways remember
it <3 :*
august: I am still very happy that I found a name for the serie
of paintings I am working on :)
Berlin newspaper named the years of mayor Klaus Wowereit "the
word "GLAM" and "glamour" was one of the most
favorites words of Brian too ^^ he lived it ^^ we lived it ^^
have no more big plans for my future. I just want to paint as much
as possible photographies which I took in past GLAM years ... and
I took a looooot ... about 120 000
september: Patrick´s monologs: I don´t know who that
was never interessted that people take pictures of me ... I avoided
it ... almost all my life. there exist only few pictures of my body
& face. and in the past years while wearing my mask, only a
handfull of pictures got realized.
a brand new feeling, that I accept my body & face and I am willing
to learn about it and myself. ... I am 40 years now.
am stearing at those pictures and selfies of me ... and I am confused,
because I´ve never really seen that guy ... then I say to
myself "I don´t know who that guy is." ... almost
all my life I was more interessted what is going on inside of my
body, soul, heart and brain. watching & talking about my body
& face annoyed me and even made me aggressive. ... those years
are over now ... somehow it feels new ... new born
september: Patrick´s dream became true*
painting in oil on canvas with that enormous size of 1,50 x 1,80
meters ... now in front of me hanging on a wall ... and I created
it ... having my own style ... the painting is phascinating alive
... it shows a party scene at PORKparty with Brian and friends
moment which one I may have ... right now ... is one of my dreams
became true and I would nothing wish more than to share that moment
feels sureal to see Brian on that painting ... which got created
shortly after his death ... feeling the drama and the pain and at
the same knowing that one of my biggest dreams became true ... not
just being in a museum and watching big paintings created by others
... this time I created that painting .... .... many years I thought,
that I would never be able to do that, and after a looooong way
... now I did it
am sure: Brian would be proud of me
september: today I had an almost "couldn´t stop to paint"
day ... I worked a lot on backgrounds for new paintings created
after photographies showing Wowereit, Tilda Swinton, Mona Lisa,
David Garrett and maaaany more ... actually I paint simultaneous
on about 25 paintings ... I love it to work that way*
september: Brian is here.
am sitting and laying on his designed couch every day.
I have his REVOLUTION denim jacket here.
I listen to his music ... every day.
One of his last artworks ... a print ... lays on the table.
Everywhere in the flat & studio are marks left ... created by
And now: Brian is watching me from an almost lifesize painting ...
in the center of the living room.
am fine with that*
Dali had Gala as his motor ...
and I have Brian´s soul as my motor ...
september: Patrick´s opinion about signing of paintings:
most important thing is: that the "glamorous era" of the
past years in Berlin will be saved for future generations. it doesn´t
matter WHO does it. ... I do it because I was part of it, but ...
believe it or not ... I don´t see myself that much important,
that my name has any relevance. the only thing what counts: is:
times I forget to sign artworks ... and I know that in future it
is perhaps interessting, when artworks are found somewhere, to know
who created them <= this is the number one reason why artworks
should be signed
I sign my created artworks ... as part of the working process ...
but just on the backside
see my job more related to an historiographer ... and I like that*
... those colorful times of Berlin should always be remembered
september: I have a dream too
love those people in Afghanistan, Irak, Iran, Syria, Yemen, Jordan,
are AMAZING beautiful ...
very intelligent (they had a loooooot of universities, clinics,...)
PHANTASTIC colorful cloths (created of highest quality such as silk,...)
a breathtaking thousands of years old culture with STUNNING treasures
people are ENORMOUS gentle, funny and loveable <3
HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT ALL THAT HAS BEEN FORGOTTEN !?
I ever see laughing and loving people in those areas again !?
have a dream too
september: Patrick loves <3 Amanda <3 (Seyfried) oooooh it
was a magic moment when Brian & I have been at the door and
Amanda entered PORKparty °° Brian jumped over the table
and asked her "are you ...?" ... Amanda answered just
"no" ... I had no idea who she is and was just phascinated
by her beauty. ... and obviously she liked the party :* .... ....
.... "OOOOH Brian, thaaaaat maaaaaany stories remind me about
you :* "
september: I always feeeeeeel it .... and I am happy when those
crazy supermoons will be over *hhmmmppppfffff* tooooo much action
... everywhere around *hhhmmmpppffff*
september: what a wonderful learning by doing afternoon
when I started to paint with oil on canvas, then some people said
to me "don´t do it! it´s poison! it´s dangerous!
IT´S GONNA DESTROY YOU!"
the past months I just thought "fine ... if this is the price
... then I will pay it"
I checked out all that "dangerous" stuff in the internet
... I learned a lot about materials such as terpentin ... even terpentin
is a nature product which is gained from trees *WOW*
I realized that I can relax now ... it´s not gonna destroy
and even Tizian reached the age of 91 years ^^
september: " I am 80 years old and I am from Israel. it´s
my last journey ... "
I have a regular job ... some nights of the months I am working
in a hotel. I like that job ... it keeps me in contact with people
from all classes from all around the world ... and some conversations
I will remember and yes, they have an influence to my art ...
was touching when tonite and old man came here and started his conversation
with " I am 80 years old and I am from Israel. it´s my
last journey ... "
september: Sean Lennon at PORKparty°°
almost never recognized a celebrity and I needed people to tell
me who is who ...
Sean Lennon did party with us for some hours. he came there after
the 80-years-birthday party of his mom, who celebrated in a theatre
he left PORKparty someone told me, that Sean Lennon was here. I
asked Brian about it and when he said yes, then I asked him "why
you didn´t tell me, that Sean was here?" and Brian´s
answered "you would have freaked out"
I woulD HAVE NEEEEEVEEER FrreEEaaaaAKkKKED O UT kNOWING SsSSSEEEEEEAAAAAAAANNNNN
LEEEeeeNNNNOOOONNN IS On THE SaME PARTy AS I AM XoPPPP
september: being strong
in life the only choice you have is being strong. and right now:
this is my choice too
course nothing what I do is perfect ... I do a lot of mistakes ...
while being strong. this causes a lot of different reactions of
people around me: some are laughing about it, because it seems to
be as a parody what I am doing right now. some are jealous, because
they are not able to realize what it needs to be to become strong.
some are ignorant, because they got frightened by strong people.
some insult me, because they would prefer to see me fail. and last
but not least: of course those people who support me while being
one year ago there didn´t exist a thaaat much big reason to
me to be strong. I knew that my 30 years older mentor Gunther in
Vienna has always an answer to me when I call him ... Gunther died
in november 2013. I could handle it, because I had Brian here in
Berlin and I knew that he has always a fitting wise answer for me
too. Brian died on 5th june 2014. No one knew me that much good
as Gunther and Brian did it ... they kept me strong ... for about
I am kind of alone and I decided not to give up ... I choose the
way of learning how to be strong ... just by myself ... it´s
a new feeling ... and an every day´s fight
yes, there is one close person left on that planet: I love her:
<3 my mom <3
september: when I asked Brian "where do you have been at 11th
september?" then he answered "in New York" ... he
never talked a lot about that day, but I will always remember his
expression in his face ... a mix of endless shock and endless sadness
... even years later
september: +++ VERALTET & VERSTAUBT +++ Das Schwule Museum in
erwartet man das ja auch von einem "Museum" ... ich war
noch nicht ein mal in den Neuen Räumlichkeiten des Schwulen
Museums ... warum auch? was soll ich dort? mich langweilen? ...
da verbringe ich meine Zeit lieber bei einem Spaziergang auf dem
Es gab bisher nicht einen Moment, ein Argument welches in mir einen
"WOW-Effect" "DA MUSS ICH HIN!" auslöste.
In den alten Räumlichkeiten war es übrigens nicht besser.
leben nicht mehr in den 60er Jahren ... das Schwule Museum ist NIE
im 21.Jhdt angekommen.
... und weiters: z. B. man kann nicht einfach eine Pasolini Ausstellung
machen OHNE Pasolini VORHER den Menschen welche UNTER 60 Jahre alt
sind näher zu bringen.
übrigens geschätzte 95 % !!! !!! !!! meiner internationalen
Künstlerfreunde zwischen 18 und 45 Jahren, waren auch noch
nie im Neuen Schwulen Museum! ... das hat seine Gründe.
SCHADE SCHADE SCHADE ums Schwule Museum ... aber OHNE Kompletterneuerung
sämtlicher Strukturen wird das wohl nix mehr
und ja: dies alles predige ich bereits seit vielen vielen Jahren
... und leider: es ändert sich einfach nichts
september: manchmal müssen´s einfach FISCHSTÄBCHEN
zum Mittagessen sein *mmmjammmyyy* 10 waren´s heute =P
september: that awkward moment, when I decided not the leave the
underground and stay in there for some moooooore stations, because
the guy sitting opposite of me was thaaaaat muuuuuch H O T =P DAMN
what an athletic L.A. surfer beach guy that was =P ... he didn´t
realize me at all ... he was busy playing with his i-phone ...
september: nervous !? of course I am nervous: in some minutes I
will enter an art university ... for the first time in my life ...
when someone will ask me there "who are you?" ... then
I will answer "äähhhmm ... nothing ... just nobody"
... what else should I answer!? ... whatever ... today is the opening
of the Berlin Art Week and I am excited to go to the Opening at
the Academy of Arts =D see you there :*
september: ^^ Patrick Bartsch ENEMY nr. 1 ^^ at the opening of Berlin
Art Week at Academy of Arts:
the opening speech they talked about the new plans about the free
trade agreement between the European Union and the United States.
they said, that people from the art scene should fear it and it´s
gonna change the situation of artists in every way.
WHAT THEY MEAN IS, that: right now artists at universities get supported
in every way, get supported with money and everything by Germany.
In the United States artists depend on PRIVATE sponsors. <= INDEED
that is something complete different !!!
they invited me to discuss, then I said: I have never been to an
art university (because I could never afford it) and I am working
exactly THAT AMERICAN WAY: I depend on private sponsors and got
N E V E R any support from Germany as artist. and YES! I support
the American Way! ... after I said that, they stopped the conversation
with me ... I guess that wasn´t the thing they wanted to hear
exhibition itself was: let me tell it in a short conversation with
a woman (age around 58 years and seemed to be part of the organisation
Patrick: "if the people have to wait thaaaaaat much long to
enter the exhibition, then at least they should get awared with
Woman: "there are many exhibitions which are much more bad
than this one!"
Patrick: "that exhibition belongs to one of the worst, which
I have ever seen."
very quick I got the feeling, that they don´t want me there
... and I left ... into the darkness of Berlin ... keeping my minds
there where I want them to have ... and not them want me to have
september: okokok some of the latest paintings are not thaaaat much
good ... okokok they are bad.
since some months I feel more weird than relaxed
+ I see myself still as beginner as a painter ... I do it now in
an intense way since 1 year and 9 months
+ okokok no more excuses ... I have to become better ^^
september: * I sell my art *
10 years I live in Berlin and since 10 years NO GALLERY wanted to
represent me ...
and now it´s me who doesn´t want a gallery anymore
I offer art directly from the artist ... it has a loooot of advantages
and not only that the price is muuuuuuch cheaper
some days ago I had a talk with a gallerist who showed his interest
in my work. he said "where do you show your art?"
... and then I just had to say it that way (after 10 years treated
bad from many galleries) " I don´t show my art in exhibitions,
because I sell it that much fast, that many paintings are still
wet, when they got already ordered. I am not interessted in showing
my art in galleries. "
know I know I know it was kind of arrogant to talk that way ...
but I needed it to do that way ... just ONE TIME :*
september: <3 Brian <3 the best what happened to me in Berlin*
september: Brian called me "can you come here?"
Brian on the phone "because it is important!"
took some presents for Brian, and took a taxi to his flat
spent the whole evening together ... till late at night ... when
he felt asleep ... I left the flat
has been wonderful hours and the last time I met Brian
postings which I created on facebook 12th august 2014 - 31st august
mix posted on facebook:
august: Patrick´s teaching lesson no.58: to say to someone
"oh, you are still that much skinny." is as much polite
as if you say to someone "oh, you are still that much fat."
... sometimes ... more and more often ... I just leave conversations
which start with such words ... because: I just expect a minimum
of style in a conversation
august: Brian and I, we talked about many emergency plans when he
feels bad .... almost since we knew eachother ... starting from
eating black chocolate, being in the bright sunlight, going on holidays,
being sober, doing meditation, meeting his parents, and and and
... some weeks before he left us ... I think it was almost the last
time when he was at my place ... when he left and walked out the
door, then I said to him (sometimes I have a blackout) "who
is singing wuthering heights?" Brian answered "Kate Bush"
... I continued "yes, listen to that song, which one she is
singing with ..." Brian smiled and continued "... Peter
Gabriel. ... yes, I love that song"
august: * you have black color on your nose *
some weeks our mayor Klaus Wowereit will be the ex-mayor of Berlin
than 10 years ago I came to Berlin for the reason to work here as
artist. I came here with nothing and knew no one.
the very first moments I found a friend in the mayor of Berlin.
that was very important to me and gave me enormous motivation to
continue ... even in very raw times.
remember how nervous I was when I realized how close I could come
to the mayor (for example at the CSD, Berlinale) and when I took
the first pictures of him.
I remember how nervous I was when I did wear my black leather mask
and even then the mayor of Berlin realized me as artist and even
did handshake with me at public events.
about 5 years ago, when we have been together in an V.I.P. area,
then I tought, that it means a way of respect to show myself without
mask. I took off my mask, went in his direction and introduced myself
as the artist, who is normally wearing a black leather mask, now
without mask. in that moment Wowi was smiling and said "I recognized
you already, because you have black color on your nose"
the following years we met eachother on different events and every
year at my balcony, when the backstage area of the lesbian-gay-streetparty
is located directly in front of my studio.
mayor of Berlin* dear Klaus* THANK YOU for eeeeeeeverything* I wouldn´t
be there where I am today ... without you <3 you gave me inspiration,
power & love ... all those years*
the deepest bottom of my heart: wish you all the best for your future*
august: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO OUR MAYOR KLAUS WOWEREIT HAS ANNOUNCED
HIS RESIGNATION +++ about 10 years ago Klaus was one of the reasons,
why I came to Berlin thaaaaat muuuuch fast ... PLS KLAUS STAAAAAAY
august: question to myself: ääähmmm* addicted to
to myself: öööhmmm* yes!
august: those dreams where Brian is alive are completly weird, but
very beautiful too
a had nap and dreamed, that Brian is preparing his parties ... as
always. I was very glad seeing him. he did act very normal, but
busy. I was looking for some scars in his face, but couldn´t
find some. he kept me busy in this dream, we ate something together
and I realized, that his death was just a performance and the performance
is over now. when I started to ask a question, then Brian looked
at me that way "don´t ask." ... and I didn´t
ask. ... our life continued as always ... busy and together
august: * <3 * HAPPY 60th BIRTHDAY to PHANTASTIC LIVING LEGEND
SALOMÉ <3 * <3 wish you a very wonderful day* I love
you forever <3 you are in my heart <3 THANK YOU for everything*
^^ YOU ARE ART ^^ :*
august: ... sold about 80 % of my "best" ... ok, let´s
say most favorite paintings ... *hmmmm* ... that means: I need to
work, work, work, paint, paint, paint ... I can´t wait, wait,
wait to work & paint ... I <3 oil on canvas
august: " to copy someone "
said something similar such as " when people copy an artist,
it is one of the biggest compliments an artist can get. "
see it very similar: this is one of the reasons why I do art and
publish it ... I like it when it is obvious that someone got inspired
by paintings, shows, writings,... which I did. ... seeing the same
words used somewhere else ... that just makes me smile :) and yes
" Thank You " ... this is one of the reasons, why I post
here that much.
course I inspired a lot of people in those years, when I did wear
the mask in public. for example: I got a letter from a popular artist
from London who wrote me that his latest exhibition about masks,
was inspired by a moment, when he met me in Berlin. ... that was
some years ago
still love such letters and words ... so pls: get inspired and literally
copy me* ... and when you feel it, then I write me about it* Thank
august: okokok I tell it as it is: ^^ Patrick plays Brian´s
course I stayed many times with Brian till the end of PORKparty°°
... and one reason was his music too ... I just LOVE IT <3
I need to find and play it by myself and meanwhile I do it in an
intense way ... it gives me an inner peace and that kind of music
is just AWESOME ^^ ... and of course I mix it up with my own music
do I copy Brian as DJ? *hmmm* does a student copy his teacher!?
answer: it isn´t possible to copy anyone. Brian teached me
and inspired me also with his music ... and this I want to share*
the past weeks on the open studio I played already a lot of that
music and people loved it <3 they smiled :) and I smiled too
from now on: I will DJ every saturday at the Open Studio and will
play a looooot of Brian´s inspired songs ... be prepared and
join it when you like it*
august: Patrick´s discovery of the day: I always thought that
"oil colors" are made of oil (I mean that petrol oil ...)
and today I discovered, that the basis is some foodstuff: linseed
means: to put on the wall a painting in oil canvas is something
similar as to put there just a PIECE OF BREAD *AAARRRGHHHHSSSS*
will start to mix up my colors by myself and this is the reason
why I went to a shop and bought everything what is needed for it
... not a lot ... just linseed oil and pigments ... I even bought
some pigments which glow in the dark =D ... and some PHANTASTIC
purple and white ... should be enough for the start
postings which I created on facebook 24th july 2014 - 11th august
mix posted on facebook:
july: Brian-Tennessee Claflin has a lot in common with Kurt Cobain,
Jim Morrison and Axel Rose
I am just watching a documetary about Kurt Cobain (on ARTE) and
I have to think a lot about the life of Brian
Rebells With Big Hearts
july: times are changing: the " ONLY WITH MASK "- years
february 2006 I started the MASK SHOW with wearing a black leather
mask in public and hiding my face as much as possible ... no pictures
without mask ... for many years ... before Lady Gaga had her first
big success ... before Pussy Riot ... before masks for everyone
the beginning it was difficult, because many people and media didn´t
accept an artist with a black mask in public. but I had GREAT moments
too, such as: meeting Tilda Swinton, Joe Dallesandro, ...
2011 I changed the black mask in a golden mask and have been around
that way especially every sunday at legendary PORKparty ... partying
with Amanda Seyfried, Michael Stipe, ... and thousands of LOVELY
PHANTASTIC more people <3
now: I plan to concentrate myself more on the production of paintings
in oil on canvas ... they should get all my energy.
but: in future: sometimes I will wear masks too ... different masks
... for special events ... or when I am just in the mood for it
face and my real name will be part of the NEW presentation of myself
as artist ... as painter
july: some stories about my "only with MASK SHOW" (which
one has finished since today)
first about 18 months have been very hard, because I had almost
no supporters and even best friends told to stop that "stupid"
thing. ... and then I met Brian ... when we talked about what I
am doing, then I was very shy about telling him, that I am running
around in public while wearing a black leather mask.
Brian´s reaction was "THAT´S GENIUS!" ...
YES, Brian has been one of my BIG supporters and gave me a looooot
of power to continue that mask show
july: after 9 years: the MASK SHOW of Master Patrick and Fantasy48
now on there is just Patrick Bartsch with face*
YOU AAAAAALLLLLL for sharing those PHAAAAANTASTIC years with me
<3 LOVE YOU <3
july: *** HOL*LY***WOO*D *** in october I plan to travel to * HOLLYWOOD
* YES, the mooooost magic place in America ... since my earliest
I don´t know if I am able to make it ... I saved already some
money ... not a lot, but a lot for me ... about 300 euro ... I will
do everthing to get enough money to do that trip ... my first trip
to America ... into the city of my dreams <3
it was planed to do it together with Brian ... and now I plan to
go there to say the last <3 GoodBye :* to Brian ... while sitting
next to the ocean and let flow some sand through my fingers
july: oh Brian <3 some days after your death, someone said to
me "take as much time as you need to grieve. but don´t
Brian <3 it is very hard not to despair
july: "Denke nie gedacht zu haben, denn das Denken der Gedanken
ist gedankenloses Denken." habe ich im Gespräch mit einer
älteren befreundeten Zigeunerin (keine Ahnung weshalb man dieses
Wort nicht verwenden soll. Ich mag es einfach und verbinde damit
viel Gutes) gesagt.
Sie sagte weiter "Wenn du denkst dann denkst du nur du denkst,
weil denken tust du nie."
Ich fragte sie daraufhin "Was dann?"
... und sie antwortete "Empfinden"
geschah vor etwa 12 Jahren und fliegt mir immer mal wieder durch
den Kopf ... und deshalb poste ich diese kleine Geschichte für
alle ... für zwischendurch*
july: Brian´s death and the guilty question
part of my grieve I do in public ... almost live here on fb. and
yes, there are people they see me guilty enough that they deleted
the fb friendship.
"yes" what should I have done different?
I have called Brian some more time? ... to check what he is doing
should I have stayed with him more time? ... that he didn´t
feel that much alone
should I have said more "I love you" and hug him? ...
that he feels it more, how much he means to me
reality was, that I was blind on a way ... too busy with myself
... ... *hmmmm* now I try to defend myself and I know it´s
the absolutly wrongest moment to talk about myself and making defend
attemps. but I am aware of that, that those questions and answers
will exist for the rest of my life.
will always judge me and this is their right ... doesn´t matter
how much they knew Brian and me.
are guilty, because you took dr*gs!"
"You are guitly, because you didn´t take away the dr*gs
out of Brian´s life!"
"You are guitly, because you have been a bad influence to him!"
... this and much more will people think about me and talk about
me. and the fewest will say it directly to me while looking in my
much am I guilty!?
is for sure: while using dr*gs I felt much stronger than I was.
I wasn´t any help to anyone. and this fact makes me guilty
on way. and if someone expects at least a sorry from my side, than
I would like to write it here: "SORRY!"
july: today I continued with the big 1,50 x 1,80 meters Brian PORK
party painting. today it was the first time, that it didn´t
made me happy to paint. the big "empty" space in the middle
is reserved for Brian. I think in about 3 weeks it will be finished
july: it´s funny* 20 years ago I was a groupie of supermodel
Werner (and met him sometimes in Vienna) ... today I still am and
in 20 years I still will be :* WHAT A MAN <3
august: Violence against Jews, Gays and Police is increasing a lot
in in Berlin ... that sounds familiar to me ... when do we have
to leave Berlin again? ... for the reason to save our lives! ...
it´s a tragedy what happens in Berlin right now ... we have
no intensions to delete islam people from that planet, but they
do ... 3rd world war just started ... a war about religions ...
sad sad violent world :(
august: STOP SHARING AND POSTING THOSE VIOLENT VIDEOS AND PICTURES
!!! since war exists: everyone is lying about the war! you will
never know if those are the real uniforms belonging to those people
!!! in World War II and all other wars it is used to wear uniforms
from the enemies and created pictures to blame them !!! I AM SURE
THAT MINIMUM HALF (I think even up to 80 %) VIDEOS ARE JUST CREATED
TO BLAME THE ENEMY !!!
who shares those violent war videos makes themselves part of the
war, because those people are SEEDING HATE and are for that GUILTY
TOO ! ... think about it.
august: today before the Open Studio, I just thought "today
something special should happen..." ... wonderful guests came
here and in the evening phantastic artist Pancho Panoptes was standing
at my door ^^ we discovered, that we have a lot in common* Thank
You for that special evening*
august: Patrick means " HOW CUUUUTIEEEEE :* Baptiste´s
new tattoo KL VIII VI MMVIII is the date when Karl & Baptiste
met eachother the first time <3 LOVE YOU GUYS <3 :*
august: the dialogue about the latest painting, between Brian and
me, would be similar like that:
Brian: "what´s that!?"
me: "this is you Brian ... at your PORKparty ... when Gio did
his show there and put you up in the air"
me: "what!? I think it´s good ... there is enough space
left to build up an own fantasy"
and now Brian would say either "I love it!" or he would
say "you should hide it and never show it to someone!"
it´s my first BIG SIZE (1,50 x 1,80 meters) painting and as
this one I like it ... of course there is a lot to do better next
time ... but at least I like to look at it* and yes, I see the WILD
Brian as I knew him and I see the wild PORKparty°°
august: (comment pic Schluchsee) this is where and how I grew up
^^ any more questions!? *DAMN* it is AWESOME BEAUTIFUL there <3
I haven´t been there since about 15 years ... why!? because
they are homophobic in the F*CKING VILLAGE ... as in most little
august: (comment) it feels goog to concentrate on smaller size paintings
again* today I listened to "the best of Bach" while creating
new paintings. this one is from a photoshooting I did some years
ago which was inspired by paintings by Gottfried Helnwein
august: yes, of course there exist those of my paintings, where
nothing fits together, everything looks wrong ... let´s describe
them as UGLY
nobody wants them and they stay with me ... I see them all the time
... and after a certain time I start to built up a relationship
with them ... and after some weeks, some months I start to find
some beauty in them and then I start to love them <3
is the moment when I realize again, that ...
there is no ugly nature
... there are no ugly humans
... there are no ugly animals
... there is no ugly art
august: what a PERFECT evening/night at the 10 years Berghain celebration
^^ spending many hours with wonderful people ... meeting a looooot
of loved friends ... enjoying the Berlin summer evening/night ...
GREAT exhibition in a STUNNING new Berghain location ... and YES,
Bisky is one of my absolutly fav painters ... and wonderful Ali
Kepenek reached me again with his GREAT work and live too ... B
I G THX to everyone <3
august: (video comment) Berlin isn´t far away from that ...
YES, I have a problem with religions which want to see queer people
august: when Islam rules the world, then: they would destroy the
pyramids & the sphinx in Egypt, the Taj Mahal in India, the
Potala in Tibet, ... they would kill queer people, women, ... in
daily processes. almost everyone would wear black. DARK DARK BLOODY
AGES ... WHAT A NIGHTMARE FANTASY ! ... äääöööhhmmmm
"fantasy"? how long THIS WILL BE JUST A FANTASY !!!???
already reality at too many places on that wonderful colorful loved
august: okokok DON´T LET THEM FANATIC ISLAM PEOPLE RULE EUROPE
! THEY WOULD DESTROY ALL AAAALLLLL OF OUR CULTURE !!! ALL CHURCHES
!!! ALL "HALFNAKED" SCULPTURES !!! THEY WOULD DESTROY
HALF OF ROME !!! MICHELANGELO´S SIXTINIAN CHAPEL !!! DAVID
!!! THEY WOULD DESTROY HALF OF GREECE !!! AKROPOLIS !!! AND AND
AND ... ISLAM IN EUROPE NEED TO BE STOPPED !!! IMMEDIATLY !!!
paintings in Louvre in Paris, in Prado in Madrid, ... the list is
tooooo looooong .... for what is on their list to destroy
august: sometimes ...
as right now ...
<3 Brian <3 is that much present to me ...
can see him dance ...
can smell him ...
see him laughing ...
hear his voice ... it feels as if I could touch him
then I realize ... but don´t want to accept ... and have to
accept ... that those memories are the only things left for me
august: Patrick´s every day life:
´ CLASSIC MUSIC ´ BLOODY MASSACRES ´ PAINTINGS
IN OIL ON CANVAS ´ ISRAEL ´ PARTIES ´ ART
try and try and try to understand that world I am living in ...
I try to understand myself how I can watch videos of bloody massacres
happening in Iraq and some hours later enjoy an art opening. cry
about the death of Brian ... then going to a party ... and some
hours later meeting friends from Tel Aviv which are watching the
latest war videos. and in between I am listen non-stop to classic
music such as Bach, Mozart, Mahler, Beethoven, ... which push my
emotions ... additionally
try to run away with my minds ... and dream of a beautiful world
in peace and harmony ... where everybody loves everyone ... and
animals are loved too ... ... and I realize that those are FANTASIES
´ ILLUSIONS ´ it´s just not existing
feels that much stange, that it is almost not possible to find words
august: +++ pls only read it when you can handle "difficult"
very personal: yes, I thought about it before, if I should write
it here or not. and pls again: stop reading when you can´t
handle stories about thoughts of suicide.
I have depressions almost all my life ( I think it got caused actually,
because during my youth I needed to hide my homosexuality in a very
heavy way ). later I had wonderful months and years, but also I
know what it means to have the worst depressions for months and
even years. I know how it feels to be in that "BIG black hole"
where you don´t find ways out of it and fantasies about an
own suicide are full created and finished in the head ... it just
needs to do it. but I always found ways out of that "nothing-but-black-in-my-head".
I never went to doctors because of that, because they annoy me.
I prefered to heal myself ... even when that means to life completly
isolated from society for many months.
last heavy depression just ended about 3 years ago and I was very
happy about surviving it. right now I can´t really say, that
I suffer a depression, but my suicide plans, which I created for
myself some years ago, are sometimes very present. and yes, sometimes,
right now, it is hard not realize them. that feeling to follow Brian
... and not to do it ... keeps me "busy"
struggle with life (and this is not really a new feeling to me)
and being sober (since about 5 weeks) is one of my ways to going
on with my life. I need to fight hard those days ... experiments
are not allowed ... to become stronger again ... step by step ...
are my little goals right now
I realize it is you too ... very special people here on fb (some/many
even may have no idea how much they mean to me) which bring me away
from suicide thoughts ... when the red fb-symbol flashes, and someone
special pressed the like-button and/or wrote a comment. it makes
me forget my suicide thoughts and thoughts about literal following
Brian ... for a moment and sometimes longer.
the result for today means: not everything on that planet is dark,
there are wonderful colorful people living here on that planet too
... and they make it worth staying longer here
postings which I created on facebook 7th july 2014 - 23rd july 2014
mix posted on facebook:
july: ^^ Fantasy48 The Emperor of Art ^^ " that tear "
working on abstract paintings means to me: about 90 percent of the
paintings happen accidental. I let the universe speak through my
hands. believe it or not: I didn´t put that tear there ...
but I feel Brian ... non-stop
july: ^^ Fantasy48 The Emperor of Art ^^ is bored bored booooored
by all those reactions about 7:1 ...okokok the german team did win
against a badly wounded brazilian team ... so what!? ... this is
nothing to be proud of ... I have no idea why the world is phascinated
by one of the most booooooring soccer teams eeeever: german soccer
team 2014 ... they work like a machine ... how boooooring ... I
always prefered individuals such as Beckham, Ronaldo, ... NEYMAR
JR. ... THEY are the reason why I watched that world soccer championship
july: it will be a loooong way, till I will be that much happy again,
as I used to know it ... if I ever will.
till then I decided to work ... more than ever
july: ^^ Fantasy48 The Emperor of Art ^^ if there exist to me a
most favorite house on that planet, then it is: YSL´s house
& GARDEN in Marakech ^^ I WANT IT ^^
july: ^^ Fantasy48 The Emperor of Art ^^´s Open Studio is
open now^^ aaaaand today is the opening of the N E W RAUSCHGOLD
bar directly opposit of my balcony ... with Gloria Viagra Sally
Morell Herrin de Luxe maaany more and free beer and free sparkling
wine ^^ LET´S CELEBRATE MY NEW FIERCE NEIGHBOURS =D
july: Fantasy48 means *here for you: some weekend goosebumps ...
and YES! art should be for everyone ... and if we reach that: ...
then we will live in <3 A BETTER WORLD <3
july: ^^ Fantasy48 The Emperor of Art ^^ just one little comment
about " FOOTBALL GERMANY " ... when I see winners, then
I see at the same time the loosers too ... how could I be happy
with Germans when I see at the same time people crying in Argentina!?
Germany has already thaaaaat muuuuuch ... do they really "need"
to win such a championship too!? what would it mean to all those
homeless and poor people in (for example) Brazil if they would have
win!? Germany got that feeling in 1954 when Germany got completly
broken and they did win the football championship and after that
game, the whole country started to believe in themselves again.
I would have wished that other countries - than "rich"
Germany - would have had experienced that feeling in 2014 ... YES,
I realize the shadows too when there is a lot of sun shining
july: (comment for destruction of 8th century sculpture) people
destroy art because they feel the power of art ... but they will
never be able to destroy the spirit of art
july: I had a weird day today ... nothing special happened ... just
felt weird all day long ... and right now: I decided that is better
to go to bed ... and guess what happened: right now Brian made me
smile ... when I just discovered that FAB video of Brian ... THX
Brian for making me smile before I go to bed :*
july: about 25 % of my paintings from the year 2013 are in (private)
collections ^^ B I G THANK YOU* for your support <3
july: ^^ Fantasy48 The Emperor of Art ^^ when I create my paintings
then I always put some magic in them ... I kind of hypnotize them
... for the reason that the magic energy goes back to those who
watch them ... ... ... it may sound weird, but this is what I do
july: ^^ Fantasy48 The Emperor of Art ^^´s Meinung zu "lalala
... so geh´n die ... lalalala"
geh´n die Gauchos (nach dem verlorenen Spiel) und so geh´n
die Deutschen (nach dem gewonnen Spiel) <= so soll´s wohl
genau heißen und das ist offensichtlich! also wie sollten
Verlierer eines Spieles gehen, wenn nicht gebückt und wie sollten
Gewinner gehen nach einem gewonnen Spiel, wenn nicht springend und
all die Kritiker haben vor allem ein Problem: Das mit der Deutschen
fand die Performances aller Fußballer KLASSE und freute mich
mit ihnen so sehr mit, daß ich beim Zusehen Tränen in
den Augen hatte
july: (zu Gaucho Tanz) ^^ Fantasy48 The Emperor of Art ^^ I LIKE
THAT VIDEO =D ... when you take part of a game, then one of the
principles is: that there are winners and loosers <= if you don´t
like that fact than don´t play and/or don´t watch games.
and as always: the loosers walk with their heads down and the winners
jump around and celebrate <= and this is exactly what those young
modern gladiators are singing and performing here ^^ ... and eeeeveryone
who means to use the NAZI word in combination with that video, just
july: ^^ Fantasy48 The Emperor of Art ^^´s
TOP 10 PLACES Of BERLIN ^^
you visit Berlin: here for you: my TOP 10 places to visit:
WEDDING LEOPOLDPLATZ: this is the area which is prefered by people
from countries such as Tunesia, Algeria, Marocco,... means: there
is a lot of life and action around on the streets ... wonderful
markets,... this area becomes more and more trendy in Berlin.
but be sure to walk around in the smaller streets too ... it´s
the only place in Berlin where whole streets belong to gangs ...
with a lot of empty shops there and almost empty streets ... just
some guys standing around with their cars and taking care about
BRANDENBURG GATE: of course the area with and around the Brandenburg
Gate, Reichstag, holocaust memorial, and the whole area around.
pls discover it by yourself. and be sure: for taking a walk in the
glas dome of the Reichstag, you need to register yourself in the
internet some days before at their webpage www.bundestag.de YES!
you should go there too^^
SANSSOUCI PALACE: this is the former summer palace of Frederick
the Great, King of Prussia, in Potsdam, near Berlin. this place
was created to make the king horny for his women. a must see and
most beautiful in spring *
KaDeWe.: London has Harrod´s, Moskau has Gum and Berlin has
KaDeWe and I LOVE IT THERE* there you see the latest and best stuff
from the whole world packed in one building ... for example: you
see the work of the latest fashion designers presented by the latest
models and photographed by best photographers. when I wanna know
what and who is on top: then I go there^^ and be sure to take a
walk in the food and drink area. take some time to drink a coffee
and eat some Lenotre chocolate cake =oP
CURRY 36: Berlin´s *mmmjammmmyyy* Currywurst. I suggest CURRY
36^^ it will make you smile eating THAT legendary food of Berlin.
and the area around of Curry36 is wonderful too ... check it out*
TIERGARTEN: what a treasure: the emperor Wilhelm II.´s private
garden open to the public. perhaps you know how difficult it is
to bring different fishes together in an aquarium ... as much difficult
is it to bring together different trees ... flora from all around
the world in one park ... it´s a master piece of garden technics.
take a walk around next to Siegessäule, take a nap there where
the naked people enjoy the park (yes, in the middle of Berlin) and
perhaps you find that lake where Koi carps are swimming around.
TEUFELSEE (devil´s lake) in Grunewald: super easy to reach:
just 6 stations with S-Bahn from station Zoologischer Garten. be
sure you swim there in one of the highest drinking water quality
possible. the area around looks like in paradise and the people
are supernice. if you want you can also do a little walk up to the
little hill and enjoy a wonderful view over Berlin.
FANTASY48 OPEN STUDIO: YES, that balcony in the middle of Schöneberg´s
party and redlight area is a must see. being in the middle of one
of the most legendary areas of Berlin: Marlene Dietrich did party
in the Eldorado, Christopher Isherwood lived here in that area and
got inspired to write "Goodbye Berlin" (the Cabaret story),
Billy Wilder lived here at beautiful Victoria-Louise-Platz, ...
and Christiane F. stayed many times in the hot-sheet hotel on the
other side of the street of my balcony. ... right: saturday´s
Open Studio means: eating homemade cake and talking about creative
people ... their creativity ... All About Art *be my guest*
FICKEN3000: THAT name "Fu*king3000" for a bar is unique
in that world and not just for the reason, that I work there every
sunday night, I may suggest that club: one of the last real underground
places of Berlin. open to everyone
UUUUHHHHH I forgot to find a number 10 for you ... pls find it by
yourself and write me YOUR favorite place in Berlin ... yes, I am
really interested in it^^ I live since about 10 years in Berlin
and I know that I have to discover a loooooot moooore of exciting
july: Patrick Bartsch ... I think that name sounds good* using different
names (such as some years ago: for about 8 years: Master Patrick)
has the same meaning to me as playing with different toys ... and
when I need a new toy/name, then I found a new toy/name.
was fun playing around with the name ^^ Fantasy48 The Emperor of
Art ^^ ... for some months. created after spending a day together
with Isa Genzken. no one said "Fantasy48" that much funny
as Brian did it and Brian understood from the very first second
what the meaning of "The Emperor of Art" is ... just a
kids phantasy ... and nothing else.
never used my real name ... but I think, that I should and will
start it now
being sober (no alc, no cigarettes, no dr*gs) since 2 1/2 weeks
cleared up my mind and body already. I am 40 years now and should
start to become more serious ... but to me: using my REAL name is
one of the freakiest things I have ever done =D
july: Patrick Bartsch wishes a <3 HAPPY WEEKEND TO EEEEVERYONE
=D .... oh yes, I have to get used to it, that I use now my real
name as artist name ... still feels weird ;)
july: (flight MH17) What if the cure for AIDS was on that
plane? Really? We dont know, he said. ... and Patrick
says "when I heard the first time about the scientists on that
plane, then my first thought was "DAMN THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REAL
REASON WHY EXACTLY T H A T PLANE GOT BOMBED!"
july: I love to paint in the morning hours* that painting of Brian
(size 1.50 meters x 1.80 meters) needs all my energy and patience
... that sweat is kind of phascinating, which is caused because
of heat AND work
july: "don´t show unfinished paintings!" they said
"DON´T show unfinished paintings!!!" they said ...
*hmmmm* I almost never did what people told me to do :) :*
here some fiiiirst impressions of my first BIG SIZE painting 1,50
x 1,80 meters with Brian Tennesse Claflin at his GLAM PORKparty
°° in oil on canvas*
july: cant´t help it, but every sunday evening I think a little
bit .... okokok muuuuuch more about Brian <3 Brian was an extraordinary
mix of beauty, intelligence, wisdom, tough, smart, ... and all that
packed in a GIANT HEART, MIND & SOUL
almost every sunday he shared all that with me and many others for
july: Patrick means: some days ago I watched an (obviously) islamic
family: a young, sad looking, pregnant woman, an angry lookig man
and 2 young children with shaved heads.
looked like religious machines, where it is wanted that as much
children as possible get born.
remember how my parents planed to put me into this world. my parents
loved eachother from the deepest bottom of their hearts and it was
their wish to create a child made of love (and for no other reason).
that´s me. ... and THIS IS THE WAY HOW IT SHOULD ALWAYS BE!
I realize that in all those islam countries uncountable children
get born just for the reason to fight for a religion (and die, such
as in Palestine), then I mean: THIS IS WRONG! I suffer with each
of those children which had no choice to be born that way.
july: one of my most favorite places since years^^ the center of
(west) Berlin^^ I sit there for hours and am able to recover^^ I
watch the people ... feel the energy ... and sometimes I have that
special feeling, when I say to myself "WOW^^ really ... you
life in Berlin"
july: "WATCHING WAR ON FACEBOOK" ... since 40 years I
realize with my own eyes what is going on on that planet. when I
was a kid and there has been war, then violent pictures have been
able to see in the news just for some seconds. with the war in Iraq
all that changed, as most of us know. it was a war live to watch
in the media.
and today: the most violent pictures and movies are the most shared
and watched ones. I don´t have to give examples, because most
of you know what I am talking about.
watch it too ... always ... I want to know what is going on on that
planet ... and I want to know again and again what a monster the
human being is.
minutes ago someone posted a video named something like "this
is how Hamas handles their own people". the rest I wasn´t
able to understand (because of the language). the video shows how
a group of armed men shot about 8 people. it was a long video, extrem
violent from the very beginning and it was able to see the faces
of those who kill. it seemed that it is a sport to them, what they
are doing and their leaders allow them to do it. to me it was shocking
to see that video and of course I don´t know if the title
of the video really fits with the video.
this is war today.
and it kills my feelings too
... step by step
july: ... and by the way: YES, I am pro Israel.
and if you don´t like that fact, then pls unfriend me from
months ago I had a wonderful conversation with an great and popular
artist from Israel. I told him, that I have almost no knowledge
about the history of Israel and the people of Israel. but what I
know is, that all people from Israel (yes, people who life and lived
there) treated me with a lot of respect and accepted every part
of me. talking about homosexuality was as talking about "baking
cake", it never was "important" or something "special".
and everything else: I felt always connected with those wonderful
people from Israel and always will.
july: 8 a.m. and Patrick naked at Teufelssee* what a feeeeeeling
to have an lake covered with beautiful waterlilies almost for hisself
=D yes, it´s my favorite lake since I life in Berlin <3
july: *hmmmm* I can´t help it: is the actual situation in
Germany similar to a situation which existed already about 90 YEARS
AGO IN GERMANY ?
some hours I was reading (german) comments on different (german)
status, pictures, videos, ... and the hate against jews has reached
a level in Germany which is frightening me.
and much more: perhaps you realized that there have been different
anti-Israel demonstrations. and in Berlin they used to scream slogans
such as "Jews, Jews, cowardly pigs, come out and fight!"
in the past months there have been that many queer people beaten
up in Berlin, what has never happened before in those years since
I life in Berlin. the hate against queer people grew definatly too.
further: the violence against german police and politics has reached
new levels. many people doesn´t respect german authorities.
wasn´t born in (for example) the year 1924, but I know that
some years later: jewish people, queer people, people from politics
and many others ended somewhere, where we should never end up again.
the easy living in Berlin which I was used to life it since 10 years
is more and more over. I am more and more prepared to leave that
country <= and just to have such thoughts frightens me
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